The Onion Daily Dispatch - November 12, 2012

Mon Nov 12, 2012 www.theonion.com

5-Year-Old Feels Like She Just Wasted Whole Carousel Ride Waving To Dad 11.11.12 COLUMBUS, OH—Local 5-year-old Kimberly Hanson confirmed Sunday she regrets having spent the entirety of a recent carousel ride waving to her nearby father instead of taking in the full range of sights and sounds offered by the amusement park ride. News in Brief » Bowling Green State Just Going To Claim Christopher Lloyd As Alumnus Until Someone Calls Them Out American Voices » McDonald's Sales Down For First Time In 9 Years “Yeah, I’ve been making my own Spicy Chicken McBites at home.” opinion » This May Not Be The Ideal Moment Politically, But It’s Time To Talk Reparations by Barack Obama, Incumbent Candidate For President Of The United States By Barack Obama Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Why is everyone saying “vagina” these days? — Bea Dickerson, Traverse City, MI Most Popular » McDonald's Sales Down For First Time In 9 Years U.S. Government To Save Billions By Cutting Wasteful Senator Program Anorexic Woman At Gym Looking Good The Week In Pictures Texans vs. Bears Extensive FAQ Page Dispels Any Lingering Confusion About Boston Duck Tour

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