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Monday, July 30, 2012
Here's The Aftermath Of Last Week's Devastating $2 Million Classic Car Fire
July 30th, 2012Top StoryHere's The Aftermath Of Last Week's Devastating $2 Million Classic Car FireBy Benjamin Preston
The shop, Werke Classics, was insured, but the loss is nevertheless devastating for its owner (and anyone who appreciates nice cars). Brandon Cove, the owner's son, sent us a few photos of the aftermath. Brandon told us that he suspected illegal activity to be the cause of the blaze. A group of Ghanian immigrants were allegedly operating an illicit chop shop — in which they literally chopped cars into pieces and sent the chunks to Africa — which included unsafe practices such as removing fuel tanks with blow torches. Luckily, the Coves were able to save a few choice rides, including a Shelby Cobra, a custom Datsun Z, and a Mercedes 300SL. You can click through the gallery to see the damage, if you can stomach it. Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove Photo credit: Brandon Cove  |
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The World's Most Hipster Wedding Announcement May Justify Outlawing Love
July 30th, 2012Top StoryThe World's Most Hipster Wedding Announcement May Justify Outlawing LoveBy Drew Magary
Let's run down the checklist to make sure we've touched every possible hipster element: Brooklyn? CHECK. Overly elaborate site design that includes a silhouette of a girl being pulled through the moonlight by a little bird? CHECK. He plays in a band? CHECK. "After a tumultuous relationship came to a close, he decided to take a break from dating, and took up bread baking"? CHECK. Animated teardrops? CHECK. A cat? CHECK. A shared love of ironic karaoke choices? CHECK. 826 fundraiser participation? CHECK. I scrolled through this entire page (it's the length of a football field) and I feel like I just married Zooey Deschanel. TWICE. And while I respect the right of newlywed couples to spend what appears to be $500,000 on site architecture, we have to establish some basic ground rules for declaring your love for one another online. Because this... this is too much love. This is like stuffing a tunnel down your friend's throat and pouring in a gallon of Karo syrup. No one outside of your relationship could possibly care this much about the history of your relationship. And so, please consider the following rules when making your wedding page: 1. Don't make me scroll for nine hours just for me to get to the fucking date. All I want to know is A) The date, B) Where it is (if it's a destination wedding, I'm not going), and C) If there will be an open bar. I don't need your joint resumes lodged into the mix. 2. Please know that the more romantic your proposal, the more likely you are that you'll get divorced. I've seen it a million times. Some guy stages an elaborate proposal that includes hiding the ring at the top of a fucking restored Ferris Wheel that the bride rode as a child, and the couple ends up divorced nine months later. Meanwhile, the guy that proposes using a discarded cockring after the HPT comes back positive stays married for eight decades. 3. If you played in a band, please let me know if your band is playing the wedding. Because I will not be attending if that's the case. 4. After designing your wedding site, step back and ask yourself IS THIS TOO CUTE? Because it is. Remove at least half the twinkling stars. 5. Don't do that shit where you make me give to charity instead of buying you a gift. You want me to donate to water, Jess & Russ? I THINK NOT. I think you want to make yourself look good AND you're hoping I pick out a nice place setting at Bloomie's for you. YOU ARE FOOLING NO ONE. As reader @j_zimms, says, "That site makes me want to punch weddings." Oh, and I wish the happy couple nothing but the best. Image: From Jess & Russ  |
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