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Wednesday, July 4, 2012
The Onion Weekly Dispatch - July 04, 2012
Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide
July 4th, 2012Top StoryYour Annual 4th of July Survival GuideHappy Birthday America! (and Happy Wednesday to everyone else!) Before you head out for your 4th of July plans, whether that involves firing up the grill, camping out, or lighting off pretty-exploding powder kegs, let us help you stay safe, beat the heat and the crowds, and have more fun. Let's get started. This year the 4th of July falls right in the middle of the week, so you have a mere 24 hours to kick back and/or make the absolute most of your mid-week holiday. With a time crunch like that, we can understand how it might seem hopeless, but never fear: Lifehacker is here! Here are some tips to help you dive in headfirst and come out the other side of the holiday intact. Want to jump to a specific section? Just tell us how you're feeling:
Beat the Heat and Stay ComfortableI don't know where you are, but it's hot here in the USA, so if you're planning on leaving the air conditioning, try to stay cool, drink lots of fluids, and keep your core temperature down. The last thing you want to do on your day off is suffer heat exhaustion and have to go to work on Thursday. Here's your basic checklist to make sure you don't pass out while standing in line at the grill, or waiting for the big finish at the fireworks display:
If you do get a little hot out there, remember your body's quick cooling spots. Apply a little ice or some cold water, and you'll cool off in a flash. Here are some other ways to beat the heat: How Can I Stay Cool While I Sleep?Dear Lifehacker, What to Cook When It's Too Hot to CookIt's hard to get up the willpower to walk into the kitchen on a hot summer day. Just preheating an oven can feel like you're upping the temperature in the house by 10 degrees. More » Use the Summer Heat to Your Advantage by Understanding How It WorksHot and cold are a matter of perception. Learn how heat works, how to avoid it, and-more interesting-how to use it to your advantage. Understanding heat means understanding energy. More » Master the Fireworks DisplayHere in DC, thousands will descend on the National Mall to watch the fireworks display over the Washington Monument, and people will pack themselves in shoulder to shoulder on the mall, sitting in camp chairs and sprawled out on blankets to watch the show. It's likely the same in your community—parks and parking lots covered in blankets and people looking to get the best view. That doesn't mean you have to be uncomfortable though! You can still have a good time.
If you do go out though, don't forget to take pictures! It's not too hard to get good photos of fireworks, even if the only phone you have is the one on the back of your phone. Here's how: Taking Great Fireworks Photos on Your Android or iPhoneYou may not have your SLR camera with you, but that's no excuse not to take great fireworks shots this Fourth of July. Take Awesome Fireworks Photos for Fame, Glory, and Wallpaper GreatnessAcross the United States this weekend, the skies will be ablaze with star bursts, sparkling trails, and willow trees of fire. Snap better pictures of the festivities with our guide to fireworks photography. More » Master Your Grill and Dish Out DeliciousnessFireworks and outdoor activities are great, but if the 4th of July translates to you as a great excuse to fire up the grill and serve all of your friends and family some tasty grilled meats and veggies, we're right there with you (seriously, we're coming over.) Hopefully it's not the first time you've lit the grill this summer, but even if it is, here's how you—and your guests—can walk away full and happy.
Need a few more grilling tips to make your July 4th cookout unforgettable? Try these on for size: Emergency Seasoning Tips Save the Day When You Forget to MarinateIf you're the designated grill master for your holiday cookouts, you may not always have the time to marinate your meat or vegetables in advance. When that's the case, a quick seasoning job can make a big difference. More » Spiral Cut Hot Dogs Before Grilling for Maximum Meaty Goodness and Plenty of Room for ToppingsCooking a hot dog isn't rocket science, but making that hot dog something really special can be trickier than loading it up with toppings. The fine folks at Chow suggest giving your hot dog a quick spiral cut before putting it on the grill: More » Cook the Perfect Steak: Salting, Searing and Poking Myths DebunkedTo cook the absolute best steak you can, should you salt before, during, or after cooking? Use butter or oil while searing? And what's the deal with poking the steak with a fork during cooking? More » Use the 70/30 Rule to Keep Fish From Sticking to Your GrillMany grilling aficionados don't try grilling large fish such as salmon, tuna, or shark as they're afraid the fish will stick to the grill. Culinary site Chow.com recommends using the 70/30 rule when grilling fish: More » Check How Done Your Steaks Are with the Face TestUsing a thermometer is the best way to tell how done your steak is, but sans thermometer, you can use this touch trick, comparing how the steak feels when you press it to how different parts of your face feel. More » Poach or Roast Sausages Before Grilling (and Other Expert BBQ Tips)It's barbecue season, and that means its time to review our grilling strategies. Esquire's "Eat Like a Man Grilling Awards" rounds up some top tips from chefs, butchers, and enthusiasts, like this suggestion for cooking sausage for a crowd. More » Hopefully by now you're all set to have a fantastic fourth. Whatever you do, stay safe, have a great time, and we'll catch up with you on the 5th! Title photo remixed using Joao Tiago Ogando (Shutterstock). |
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Celebrate the 4th of July with Video Gaming's Finest Fireworks!
July 4th, 2012Top StoryCelebrate the 4th of July with Video Gaming's Finest Fireworks!The evening sky is overrated. Don't there for awesome fireworks. Look at these clips of video gaming's best fireworks. We've got to start with Mario. Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view Click to view |
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