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Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Kelly Clarkson Passes Carrie Underwood for Best-Selling 'Idol' Single of All Time


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The Onion Weekly Dispatch - July 04, 2012

The Onion

New Study Finds 85% Of Americans Don't Know All The Dance Moves To National Anthem 07.04.12

BOSTON—According to a survey published Wednesday by historians at Boston University, more than 85 percent of Americans are unfamiliar with the upbeat, traditional dance routine intended to accompany the singing of the national anthem. Once taught in...

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Remember, taking drugs is no way to be cool and have fun. Selling drugs is the way to be cool and have fun.

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Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

July 4th, 2012Top Story

Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

By Alan Henry

Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide Happy Birthday America! (and Happy Wednesday to everyone else!) Before you head out for your 4th of July plans, whether that involves firing up the grill, camping out, or lighting off pretty-exploding powder kegs, let us help you stay safe, beat the heat and the crowds, and have more fun. Let's get started.

This year the 4th of July falls right in the middle of the week, so you have a mere 24 hours to kick back and/or make the absolute most of your mid-week holiday. With a time crunch like that, we can understand how it might seem hopeless, but never fear: Lifehacker is here! Here are some tips to help you dive in headfirst and come out the other side of the holiday intact.

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Beat the Heat and Stay Comfortable

I don't know where you are, but it's hot here in the USA, so if you're planning on leaving the air conditioning, try to stay cool, drink lots of fluids, and keep your core temperature down. The last thing you want to do on your day off is suffer heat exhaustion and have to go to work on Thursday. Here's your basic checklist to make sure you don't pass out while standing in line at the grill, or waiting for the big finish at the fireworks display:

If you do get a little hot out there, remember your body's quick cooling spots. Apply a little ice or some cold water, and you'll cool off in a flash. Here are some other ways to beat the heat:

Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

How Can I Stay Cool While I Sleep?

Dear Lifehacker,
We don't have air conditioning, and with this hot weather its easy to get out of the house to cool off in the daytime, but at night it's really uncomfortable. More »


Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

What to Cook When It's Too Hot to Cook

It's hard to get up the willpower to walk into the kitchen on a hot summer day. Just preheating an oven can feel like you're upping the temperature in the house by 10 degrees. More »


Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

Use the Summer Heat to Your Advantage by Understanding How It Works

Hot and cold are a matter of perception. Learn how heat works, how to avoid it, and-more interesting-how to use it to your advantage. Understanding heat means understanding energy. More »


Master the Fireworks Display

Here in DC, thousands will descend on the National Mall to watch the fireworks display over the Washington Monument, and people will pack themselves in shoulder to shoulder on the mall, sitting in camp chairs and sprawled out on blankets to watch the show. It's likely the same in your community—parks and parking lots covered in blankets and people looking to get the best view. That doesn't mean you have to be uncomfortable though! You can still have a good time.

  • Head Out Early: Obviously, the first way to beat the crowds is to head out long before anyone else would. Make a day-trip of it, and head to your local park armed with picnic baskets of food, comfy camp chairs, blankets, and lots of ice cold drinks in your cooler. Pack to last the afternoon, and beat the pack.
  • Pick the Right Location: Depending on where you are, there could be several fireworks displays fairly close to each other. Check with your local news affiliate, they're usually the ones who collect and post all of the nearby displays on their web sites, and see which ones are nearby. Then take that information over to Google Maps and check out the location before you head out. That way you can see where there's parking, how big the lots or parks are, and even if there's somewhere better nearby to watch the show without dealing with the crowd.
  • Make Your Own Fireworks: First, make sure fireworks are legal in your state before you do anything else. Then read the instructions. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with a few fireworks in your backyard as long as it's done safely and legally. If that limits you to sparkers, so be it, but a few bottle rockets and some sparklers in your backyard or a nearby open field can save you time and hassle. Bonus: you can bring your own food, and there's no competition for a good spot.
  • Stay Home: It may not be as much fun as being out and hearing the thundering sounds and seeing the bright lights, but considering the heat, the crowds, and the fuss, you might want to just stay home and watch the spectacle on television. We wouldn't blame you.

If you do go out though, don't forget to take pictures! It's not too hard to get good photos of fireworks, even if the only phone you have is the one on the back of your phone. Here's how:

Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

Taking Great Fireworks Photos on Your Android or iPhone

You may not have your SLR camera with you, but that's no excuse not to take great fireworks shots this Fourth of July.
Smartphone blog Gottabemobile recently detailed several great tips for taking fireworks photos. More »


Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

Take Awesome Fireworks Photos for Fame, Glory, and Wallpaper Greatness

Across the United States this weekend, the skies will be ablaze with star bursts, sparkling trails, and willow trees of fire. Snap better pictures of the festivities with our guide to fireworks photography. More »


Master Your Grill and Dish Out Deliciousness

Fireworks and outdoor activities are great, but if the 4th of July translates to you as a great excuse to fire up the grill and serve all of your friends and family some tasty grilled meats and veggies, we're right there with you (seriously, we're coming over.) Hopefully it's not the first time you've lit the grill this summer, but even if it is, here's how you—and your guests—can walk away full and happy.

Need a few more grilling tips to make your July 4th cookout unforgettable? Try these on for size:

Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

Emergency Seasoning Tips Save the Day When You Forget to Marinate

If you're the designated grill master for your holiday cookouts, you may not always have the time to marinate your meat or vegetables in advance. When that's the case, a quick seasoning job can make a big difference. More »


Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

Spiral Cut Hot Dogs Before Grilling for Maximum Meaty Goodness and Plenty of Room for Toppings

Cooking a hot dog isn't rocket science, but making that hot dog something really special can be trickier than loading it up with toppings. The fine folks at Chow suggest giving your hot dog a quick spiral cut before putting it on the grill: More »


Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

Cook the Perfect Steak: Salting, Searing and Poking Myths Debunked

To cook the absolute best steak you can, should you salt before, during, or after cooking? Use butter or oil while searing? And what's the deal with poking the steak with a fork during cooking? More »


Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

Use the 70/30 Rule to Keep Fish From Sticking to Your Grill

Many grilling aficionados don't try grilling large fish such as salmon, tuna, or shark as they're afraid the fish will stick to the grill. Culinary site Chow.com recommends using the 70/30 rule when grilling fish: More »


Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

Check How Done Your Steaks Are with the Face Test

Using a thermometer is the best way to tell how done your steak is, but sans thermometer, you can use this touch trick, comparing how the steak feels when you press it to how different parts of your face feel. More »


Your Annual 4th of July Survival Guide

Poach or Roast Sausages Before Grilling (and Other Expert BBQ Tips)

It's barbecue season, and that means its time to review our grilling strategies. Esquire's "Eat Like a Man Grilling Awards" rounds up some top tips from chefs, butchers, and enthusiasts, like this suggestion for cooking sausage for a crowd. More »


Hopefully by now you're all set to have a fantastic fourth. Whatever you do, stay safe, have a great time, and we'll catch up with you on the 5th!

Title photo remixed using Joao Tiago Ogando (Shutterstock).

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Celebrate the 4th of July with Video Gaming's Finest Fireworks!

July 4th, 2012Top Story

Celebrate the 4th of July with Video Gaming's Finest Fireworks!

By Stephen Totilo

Celebrate the 4th of July with Video Gaming's Finest Fireworks! The evening sky is overrated. Don't there for awesome fireworks. Look at these clips of video gaming's best fireworks. We've got to start with Mario.

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Fantavision, the PlayStation 2's fireworks-gaming classic.

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Final Fantasy XIII: Fireworks Edition

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Boom Boom Rocket(Like DDR but with fireworks)

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Uh.. Disney Fireworks, anyone?

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Big Bang Mini, an obscure one on the Nintendo DS.

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Left 4 Dead? This seems wrong.

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Assassin's Creed II. Just the last bit of this clip.

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Gran Turismo 5. Go figure.

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Colonization (I love the name of this video: "Colonization Gameplay (SPOILER) - Video 18: INDEPENDENCE (End sequence)" ... it's like, spoiler: The British Empire loses!

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Minecraft, of course.

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Batman: Arkham Asylum. I forgot this game had any. Thanks, Giant Bomb, for your awesome fireworks-in-games list. I had to peek to remember this one.

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Mini Ninjas. Fireworks-as-weapon!

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Peggle. Well, Peggle hacked.

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Animal Crossing.

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This one isn't technically a video game, actually.

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