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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Film Review: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter


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Exclusive: Katy Perry to Launch Her Own Record Label


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Sports Artist LeRoy Neiman, Official Painter of Five Olympics, Dies


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The Onion Weekly Dispatch - June 20, 2012

The Onion

Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day 06.20.12

NEW YORK—Real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump reportedly stood before his bedroom's full-length mirror Wednesday morning and stared forlornly at his aged, shriveled penis before getting dressed and leaving his residence in Manha...

Americans Enjoying 3 Months Of Vegging Out Before Responsibilities Of Fall Programming Resume

News in Brief »

Herman Cain Endorses Who Gives A Fuck

Grandfather's Advice Pretty Bad For Someone Who's Lived That Long

U.S. Improves Infrastructure With Transnational Power Strip

American Voices »

Hebrew National Hot Dogs Not Kosher?

"So, there's a right way to shove a bunch of ground cow bits into an intestine?"

Latest Apple Maps Leaves Out Mass Transit

video »

Brown Vs. Board Of Education Gives Black Students Opportunity To Experience Racism In Desegregated Schools

The Onion looks at the discovery of a group of North Dakotan coal miners that would become the cast of 'Happy Days,' the Supreme Court ruling that allowed black students to experience racism first hand in desegregated schools, and the historic hot air bal...

opinion »

I Think I'd Make A Pretty Good HBO Show

by 18th-Century France

By 18th-Century France

Radio News »

Ghost Of Ted Knight Signs On As New Voice Of God

featured section: »

Horoscope »

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

Some things only become funny when you look back on them years later. Conversely, the events of next week will seem funny at the time, but as the years go by, society will gain sensitivity and learn to outgrow that sort of thing.

Most Popular »
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Ann Curry to Leave NBC's 'Today'; Savannah Guthrie Likely Replacement


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Cheat Sheet - Obama’s Bold Executive Privilege Play

The Cheat Sheet

Today: Egypt Delays Presidential Pick , Jerry Sandusky Trial, Day Seven: Sandusky’s Last Mile , Fed Lowers Interest Rates
Cheat Sheet: Afternoon

June 20, 2012
ON THE HILL

Not so fast. Moments before a House committee voted to hold Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of Congress, the White House took the dramatic step of asserting executive privilege on the committee’s attempt to open thousands of documents about the “Fast and Furious” investigation, reports The Daily Beast’s Patricia Murphy.

VOTES

Who's your president? The answer is still unknown in Egypt, where authorities confirm the winner of the presidential runoff race will likely be unknown until June 21. Judges are reviewing some 400 election complaints from both campaigns. Muslim Brotherhood candidate Mohamed Morsi claimed early victory over former Hosni Mubarak minister Ahmed Shafik on Sunday before polls had closed. The ruling Supreme Council of the Armed Forces—which assumed presidential power after Mubarak was ousted—says it will hand over power once one candidate is deemed the winner. Mubarak’s health, which has wavered over the last 24 hours, was greatly improved Wednesday, his lawyers saying he could make a 'full recovery.'

PENN STATE

In an abrupt end, the defense rested today without putting the former coach on the stand. The Daily Beast’s Diane Dimond on the trial’s last evidence, which sought to cast doubt on the young accusers.

ECONOMICS

Good news for consumers, bad news for the stock market. The Federal Reserve announced Wednesday that it will be extending Operation Twist in order to lower the long-term interest rates for millions of consumers and businesses. The Fed said it will continue shifting its portfolio from short to long-term securities through the end of the year. The Fed says it plans to buy $267 billion in longer-term Treasury securities with maturities of 6 years to 30 years and will sell or redeem an equal amount of securities with maturities of 3 years or less. Stocks took a dive after the announcement, but turned mixed by mid-afternoon.

SCARY

French police have detained a man who held four people hostage at a bank in Toulouse, France, on Wednesday, and all the hostages have been safely released. The gunman released one woman hostage after four hours in exchange for food and water, and a second woman was released sometime afterward. The man, who claimed to be linked to al Qaeda, wanted to speak to Mohamed Merah, the Toulouse man who killed seven people in a shooting rampage in February that traumatized France.


COMPROMISE
Samaras to Become Greek P.M.
Forms coalition government.
PUSHBACK
Experts Doubt 9/11 Cancers
No evidence to support health-fund amendment.
TRAGIC
Badger Recalls Christmas Fire
In exclusive interview with “Today” show.
UH-OH
FBI Nabs Key Figure in Blagojevich Case
Former fundraiser for Jesse Jackson.
UP AND DOWN
Mitt and Brit Have Car Elevators
Romney and Spears have same $55,000 lifts.
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