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Monday, February 11, 2013
Top Stories from the last 24 hours
Why You're So Afraid of Change (and What You Can Do About It)
February 11th, 2013Top StoryWhy You're So Afraid of Change (and What You Can Do About It)By Adam Dachis
"Change" is a broad term, and it can apply to many things. Perhaps you're just moving to a new home or starting a new job, or something awful happens like a death in the family. These events may seem black and white, and not necessarily similar, but they all require adjustment in the way you conduct your day-to-day life. These adjustments cause stress, even when they're positive. Conversely, negative changes can yield positive results. You never know exactly what you're going to get, which often frightens us. Coping with change well, rather than losing your mind, only requires an adjustment on your outlook and a little evidence of surviving various circumstances. In this post, we'll take a look at why your brain resists change and how you can actually change that. What Is Change, Exactly?
Change comes in many forms in our daily lives. Everyone experiences the pains of being young through puberty and later the pains of being old through inevitable medical issues. We get married, graduate from school, switch careers several times, move across the country, get in terrible accidents, lose our parents, discover hobbies we love that we never knew about, and sometimes even achieve our dreams. Even though we can attribute a default emotion (e.g. happy, sad) to many of these broad examples, Roger notes that the event isn't the only thing that affects how we handle both "good" and "bad" change:
On top of that, the event itself often doesn't affect whether or not we feel stress. If anything changes, good or bad, stress will probably result:
When trying to understand how change affects us, we mostly need to look at three things: 1) the situation itself, 2) our mood/temperament, and 3) how others may affect us. Keep these key factors in mind as we discuss how our brains deal with change and, later, what we can do to override the problems. Why Change Is So DifficultOur Brains Expect Certain Things to Stay the Same
While we often fear change when pre-existing information fails us, but the amount of stress can vary greatly. Roger explains:
The earlier you learned something, the harder it is to change. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" is a saying for a reason. We Seek Out People Like Us to Avoid Change
This lovely phenomenon gives you cause to discount conflicting information as bias and stick with what you know. Essentially, you attack the possibility of change because you think you know better than everyone else and have the friends to back you up. We Hate to Feel Like We Wasted Our Time and Effort
A study (PDF) by psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky found that our brain's desire for loss aversion almost always altered our choices even when our other choice was identical. David McRaney explains the study:
Most people chose Cure A in the first scenario and Cure D in the second, but both situations presented were actually the same with different framing. The results showed how quickly we flock to the option that minimizes loss—the one with the least perceived change. Because we're so opposed to inciting change, logic can go right out the window. How to Better Cope With ChangeCoping with change isn't that hard. You can't change how your brain works, but you can use its quirks to your advantage. Basically, your brain likes information it knows and understands and doesn't like what it doesn't know. If your brain experiences enough change in a variety of ways, it'll allow you to operate with the understanding that change is something you can survive and even benefit from. You won't fear it so much because the information stored in your head provides evidence that fear is unnecessary. Of course, getting to this point is easier said than done. Accept the Inevitability of Change and Its Resulting Stress
Think of Change Like a Software Upgrade
Allow Yourself to Freak Out, But Always Consider the Upside
After enough regular practice, managing change won't feel like such a fearful burden. Shifting gears is rarely easy, but it isn't supposed to be. With practice you'll get better and it won't feel like you're hit with a stress bomb every time your life takes a different turn. The only way the fear and stress will disappear is if you calm down an embrace the unknown. A big thanks goes out to Roger S. Gil, M.A.M.F.T. for his integral contributions to this post. Be sure to check out his podcast and follow him on Twitter for more. Photos by red-feniks (Shutterstock), bahri altay (Shutterstock), DrMadra (Shutterstock), oilyy (Shutterstock), Christos Georghiou (Shutterstock), wongstock (Shutterstock), Stuart Miles (Shutterstock), and amasterphotographer (Shutterstock).  |
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We Know All About The Next Xbox, From Someone Who Says They've Got One
February 11th, 2013Top StoryWe Know All About The Next Xbox, From Someone Who Says They've Got OneBy Stephen Totilo and Luke Plunkett
Those are a just a few details about the new console, codenamed Durango, that were shared with us by a person with access to next-gen information. Our source also claims to have a pair of Durango development kits. We've also heard more about how the system apparently works and what it will be like to control it and play games on it, though we've not seen the unit ourselves. Our source even claims to have played some Durango games, describing the graphical leap from current-gen console gaming like going from playing Halo 2 on an original Xbox to playing Crysis on a powerful PC. Our source for this new info goes by the name SuperDaE. He first came to the attention of lots of people last year, when he tried to sell a Durango development kit on eBay (he says the sale was blocked by Microsoft over a copyright issue; we've asked them to confirm and will let you know what they say, if anything). He's an unusual but surprisingly well-informed source. More recently, SuperDaE contacted Kotaku with information about the next-generation PlayStation, all gleaned from more than 90 pages of Sony development kit documentation. He had new details to share about the next Xbox as well. Like Sony, Microsoft refuses to acknowledge that their next-gen system is in the works and that people are making games for it. They're focused on selling current consoles, not giving people reasons to hold out for the future, no matter how near that future may be. As a result, Kotaku sources who have told us about things such as the codenames of the new Wiis, Xboxes and PlayStations of the world have done so from the shadows of an industry still not able to beam brightly about the next generation of console hardware. Sources can be mistaken. They can mislead. And specs can change. Nevertheless, what SuperDaE told us synched with other reports, and some details—such as the Durango's support for Blu-Ray discs—lined up with rock-solid reports we've gotten from our own proven sources. None of the details that follow have been confirmed by Microsoft. When contacted about some of the specifics of the story late last month, a rep cited Microsoft's policy not to comment on rumors and speculation. We've asked them again about both the Durango and about SuperDaE's claims that his eBay sale was stopped by Microsoft (though it's unclear how effective that was—he's put a "Durango PC" back on sale on eBay again). Should they comment, we'll let you know. SuperDaE's information comes from what appears to be white papers—overview documents—crafted to prepare game makers for the next generation. Much of what we learned from them presents the notion of the Durango as being an exceedingly capable console that merges the traits of a powerful game console with the expectations of multi-tasking users of smartphones and tablets. Peripherals such as hard drives and the Kinect sensor that were optional in the last generation are mandatory in Microsoft's next go-'round, according to SuperDaE's information. Here's what we learned from our source, with the understanding that, while what follows is fresh info relevant up through the state of Durango development in January 2013, specs and plans can change. The likelihood of further changes does diminish as the console's expected late-2013 release gets closer. An important note: many of the specs we were made privy to were said to be set not just for development kits but for the final retail consoles as well. KinectAs we reported a year ago, the new version of the Kinect motion-control sensor array will be included with every Durango sold. The unit seems far superior to the one currently found for the Xbox 360 (or the PC, for that matter). Perhaps most importantly, this isn't an optional accessory. It's mandatory. Not only does a Kinect ship with every console, but it must be plugged in and calibrated for the console to even function. This requirement is due to the way Kinect has been integrated with the Durango; because every console can be guaranteed of having the camera, developers can now program every game with the peripheral in mind. It's also because the Kinect will always be watching you. The new version of the camera is able to track up to six individual "skeletons" in the same room at all times. This has clear gameplay implications, such as allowing a game to instantly identify a person, but could also be related to a recently-patented Microsoft system for monitoring and maybe even charging users based on who is watching what. SuperDae's Kinect documentation also makes mention of automatic player identification becoming part of a gameplay experience. The camera has also been improved upon the models currently available, with the Durango's version capable of independently tracking your thumbs, determining whether your hand is open or closed, and even, it's claimed, reading your facial expression and seeing whether you're angry, sad or excited. The improved viewing angle is so wide that the new Kinect doesn't even need to nod to find the best viewing angle. For more detail on the ways in which Kinect has been improved since the device's first release in 2010, take a look at the diagrams below. Storage & InstallsA point of confusion during the lifetime of the Xbox 360, and one of consternation for developers, was the way in which Microsoft split the install base of the machine, selling some consoles with a hard drive and others without. This meant games could not be programmed to specifically take advantage of a hard drive installation. That divide is gone this time around, with all Durango retail consoles shipping with an HDD. That drive is 500GB in size, which should be enough for your media storage needs, but it'll mostly be used for games, which must now be installed immediately upon first insertion of the game disc. What's more, this installation can take place automatically, while you're playing the game. Durango titles can be designed in "sections," so that you can pop your disc in, start playing and, in the background, the rest of the game will install. Installing games should bring performance improvements, we think, but doing so in the background should also get rid of pre-game install waits, one of the more annoying hold-ups of the current generation of consoles. Durango game installations will also be mandatory, as games can't directly access data from the disc. Game-JugglingThe Durango will be able to run more than one game or app at once, according to the information shared with us. If you're, say, a computer or smartphone user, this is not exactly sending-a-man-to-the-moon level of innovation. But game consoles have long been stuck just running the system-level functions (cross-game voice-chat, Achievement alerts, etc) while a single game runs. On an Xbox 360, even an app as simple as Twitter could only be used if whatever game the user was playing was shut down first. Durango, thankfully, gets past that. The Durango is said to also allow games to be put into "suspend" and "constrained" states, which seemingly allow users to pause a game, switch to a second game, then return to the first game without losing their place, provided game developers follow some Microsoft protocols. Again, this is no revolution for users of computers, phones, or even Nintendo and Sony handheld gaming machines, but it is one giant leap for consoles. ControllerThe Durango's control pad will be a "natural evolution" of the Xbox 360's pad, according to SuperDaE's info. While this suggests a near-identical layout—not necessarily a problem considering the cross-platform popularity of the layout with the PC—Xbox 360 controllers won't work with the Durango, as they use what Microsoft is calling a "new wireless technology." Companion AppPerhaps to complement the lack of direct advances to the 360's controller itself, Microsoft is looking to bolster support for its Xbox Companion App. Some of the possibilities we've learned of are far more dramatic than those originally intended for the current version of the app, taking advantage of both a phone/tablet's motion sensing capabilities and Kinect to execute actions more like those you'd expect from Nintendo's Wii U controller. Microsoft says, "There is no limit on the imaginative possibilities with this input medium and its screen real estate." The only question is if developers have the manpower (or willpower) to make the most of it. SpecsWhile various outlets, including Kotaku, have shared information on the technical specifications of Durango development kits, the specs you're about to see here are those for the final retail units that consumers will be getting their hands on. The next Xbox will run on custom hardware that includes an 8-core, 64-bit CPU running at 1.6ghz, an 800mhz DirectX 11.x graphics processor units and, alongside them, various "custom hardware blocks" that are able to handle certain individual tasks, taking the strain off the main CPU. According to sketches from information shared by SuperDae, there's 8GB of DDR3 memory, along with a small amount of flash memory for system tasks. The Durango's optical disc drive is 50GB in size, while, as mentioned, there's a 500GB hard drive, with read speeds of up to 50 MB/sec. If you've got a 3D TV set, the Durango is capable—if developers want to support it—of delivering stereo 3D content in 1080p. Those reliant on wi-fi, and who were forced to pay for Microsoft's costly external adapter with the original Xbox 360, will be happy to know that the Durango ships with built-in wi-fi (though there's still an ethernet port for wired connections). In terms of audio, the retail Durango will output via either HDMI or S/PDIF (optical) connections, and can support up to 7.1 channels. There is always a high level of interest in a new generation of video game consoles, and things get particularly wild during the months before console-makers issue their official announcements. So much information flies around: some of it made up, some of it from sources we know, and some of it from sources we don't, characters who come knocking with extraordinary tales to tell. No one seems to know everything about the new machines. SuperDaE, for example, offered nothing about the machine's name nor the look of the console or controller. He said nothing about the idea of the new Xbox requiring a constant online connection, something most recently reported by the respected Edge magazine. (One reliable Kotaku source has told us it's true, though, again, plans can change and the strictness of that online requirement—would it tolerate a spotty signal?—remains unclear.) Soon, the leaks will be replaced by official statements and dazzling announcement events. It is nearly guaranteed that Sony will reveal its next PlayStation to the world at a major February 20 event in New York City. It's possible that Microsoft might try to spoil that event with a pre-show tease, or hold out as long as they can wait to announce—maybe until E3 in June. For now, those who want to plan their console gaming future are left with whispers, rumors and leaks. Our best sources continue to assume that the next Xbox will be out by the end of the year. With Xbox 360 sales remaining high, Microsoft doesn't have to put out a new machine, but with development so far underway and with hardcore gamers' apathy for circa-2005 console tech increasing, the time is increasingly right for a new gaming console. We'll let you know as we learn more, and we'll be as clear as we can every step of the way.  |
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Big Dumb Sex: A Girls Recap
February 11th, 2013Top StoryBig Dumb Sex: A Girls RecapBy A.J. Daulerio
Moving on: Joshua infiltrates the Girls' universe after he heads over to Grumpy's to complain about the person who keeps throwing soggy coffee grounds and old pastries into his garbage can on several occasions. He politely asks Ray to solve this problem and to control his employees from doing so since it's pretty annoying. Ray's not having it, though, because he's miserable and has no time for yuppity haranguing today or any day. They bro-off a bit inside the shop without a sound resolution. Joshua storms out. Hannah bore witness to this whole exchange and made numerous facial expressions throughout indicating that she knows who keeps fucking with Joshua's trash. Instead of confessing to Ray she seizes this opportunity for self-immolation, quits her job, and storms out. Ray's still in macho mode so he lets Hannah go and makes sure the door wallops her in the ass on her way out. The customers stare at Ray and he feels their eyes. "Go back to watching your panda videos!" he commands. He knows his customers so this is a sick burn. Hannah decides to begin her new jobless freedom with an apology. She toddles over to the brownstone with the garbage cans full of Grumpy detritus and rings the doorbell. Oh, look, it's the handsome guy in the doorway. Hello? Hello. He does not remember her from Grumpy's. Anyway, would Hannah like to come in? Better judgment takes a backseat and Hannah marches in and, wow, look at all this grown-up stuff this guy has: shiny wood floors, coat racks, nice couches, mantles full of vases and busts, a fruit bowl with real fruit, and a piano tucked away in a corner that's most likely there because it helps even out the room or for when old rich people want to show off their "Greensleeves" renditions at cocktail parties. There is not a speck of dust. She admits she's the one who kept stuffing his precious garbage cans full of Grumpy shit. She did this initially because she kept forgetting the key to the dumpster at Grumpy's and needed to dispose of the trash. Then she began to do it habitually because it made her feel rebellious. "The moment you drop it in, the moment you run away," she says. Deep. For some reason this makes sense to the handsome man and he offers her a glass of lemonade which sounds delightful. She follows him into the kitchen. He stares, she averts her eyes, begins to mumble, looks up, silent flirting, game on. Hannah kisses. He kisses back. Then he picks up her by the armpits and plops her onto a countertop or a kitchen island. Grope-fest. They exchange names before the real boning begins. He's Joshua. She's Hannah. Lenny and Squiggy burst through Hannah's top. HALLO. They spend the whole day in perpetual dream state, snuggling and fucking and eating steaks. Joshua shares that he's separated. Hannah presses for a reason why, but it's boring. Upstairs Joshua takes his shirt off and flops on the bed. He tells Hannah to make him come/cum. Hannah's super-confident by now and says no you make me come/cum. She's on her back. Lenny and Squiggy assume the position. Joshua shows off his finger-bang technique to the delight of everyone. HALLO. They continue their days of guilt-free adventure because the end of the world starts in Greenpoint brownstones. Ping-pong is played in Joshua's fancy ping-pong room, topless, in their underwear. Hannah sucks at ping-pong but uses self-deprecation to prepare Joshua for this unsurprising reality. Joshua is at the other end of the table and he bounces on the balls of his feet to show Hannah that he's competitive and has played organized sports before. Hannah muffs the serve. Lenny and Squiggy flop away on the bench and are probably better ping-pong players than Hannah. Maybe next time, guys. Cut to Hannah and Joshua boning on top of the ping-pong table. Cut to more lousy ping-pong joy. Let's skip to the weird stuff. Hannah takes a shower in Joshua's fancy shower full of glistening showerheads and digital temperature adjustment buttons and Hannah proceeds to press a button until it's scalding to get some steam. There's too much steam, though, and she faints. Joshua finds her, saves her, puts her in an expensive robe and moves her to the bedroom. Hannah starts to lose it a bit and wants some real talk time. "Please don't tell anyone this, but I just want to be happy," she admits, startling herself with this revelation. Joshua says something cluelessly grown-up about everyone wanting to be happy and deserving it but he's not on the same level as Hannah. No, dude, you don't understand. Hannah reveals more: "One time I asked someone to punch me in the chest and then come on that spot," she says. "When I was three, I told my mom my babysitter had touched me on the vagina in the bath." She may have been lying about that, even. Joshua empathizes. "One time when I was nine I let this kid jerk me off." So one time when I was 11 I was at a sleepover at my friend Nick Franzioni's house. (This is not his real name. But it's close enough. I'd hate to fuck up this dude's Google.) We had a sweet VHS tape of the cheap-o porn cable version of Young Lady Chatterly's Lover Part 6 or some shit and watched it after his parents went to bed. In the middle of it, I got up to go to the bathroom and I had one of those out of control 11-year-old erections that can't be tamed. I attempt to urinate as usual but due to my severe engorgement the stream just missed the bowl. I completely soaked the walls of the Franzioni bathroom. It was was all over the fancy soaps and the candle sitting on the back of the toilet. It was on the floor. It was on the hand towels which were there for decoration only and not to be used for drying. I panicked. I tried to mop up some of the piss with one of the already wet cloth hand towels but not enough. I just left it there and went back home the next day without any problems. Later that afternoon, Mrs. Franzioni called my mom and told her about the mess I made. She told my mother I was no longer allowed to sleepover anymore. My mom just stared at me and had no idea what to say. What could she say? When I was 18 at a worked as a busboy at a restaurant in Holland, Pa. It was the first time I'd ever met real-life gay people. One of them was a creepy-ass bartender named Ricky who had a weird bouffant of black hair with a skunk patch right in the middle. I was told he was gay but he was so nice to me and didn't act gay so yeah, what's the big deal? I used to give Ricky money and he would go to the shitty bar and buy me six-packs of beer after work. Molson Ice, even. He was cool. One time Ricky invited me up to his apartment after our shifts to hang out and smoke pot. He would buy the beer this time. Cool, Ricky, sure. His apartment was small and sad and it seemed too sloppy for a dude pushing 40. I sat on the couch and we smoked pot out of tinfoil bowl. We watched something weird on television and didn't say much. Then Ricky moved over to the couch and asked if he could get me another beer. Sure, Ricky. He tapped my leg. I was stoned. WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON. I wasn't staying around to find out. I got up and ran to the door. "I GOT TO GET HOME RICKY!" I heard him protesting from the kitchen- "No, wait! Don't go..."- as I ran down the stairs. I drunk-drove for ten miles that night back to my parents' house. That was the longest I'd ever driven while hammered and was impressed at how lucky I was. The next day I tried to convince myself that I was just stoned and paranoid and a homophobe. The following week we had a staff Christmas party which was a bus trip to Atlantic City. I sat in the back with the owner, Paul, who was also gay. He looked like the chubby magazine guy from Beetlejuice who sat around the table during the Day-O scene. He revealed so much to me that night and seemed like my friend. Paul's cool, I thought. He's gay, too. But he knows I'm not gay. Then Paul moved to the back and talked to other people because he didn't want it to seem like he was paying too much attention to me. He tapped my leg too, before he went to the back of the bus. Just like Ricky did. As soon as Paul left, Ricky moved up to take his seat. He was really drunk. "Listen, I'll give you $150 to suck your dick. You don't have to do anything. I just want to suck your dick." I moved up to the front of the bus and sat there with the old waitresses to talk about their bratty daughters and how much they hated their lives instead. I quit the busboy job soon after the trip because I couldn't take it anymore and, you know, No Homo. Ricky called and left a message on my parent's answering machine a couple days later and apologized if he was the reason I quit. I deleted it before my parent's could hear the message. My dad would fucking kill him. XO, A.J. Hannah wakes up the next morning in Joshua's giant bed alone. She stretches, looks around, takes in the opulence. She grabs the New York Times off his front stoop. She makes herself toast and jam and reads the paper on his veranda. She cleans up and and leaves in the same outfit she wore to his apartment two days ago. Before she heads out the door, she grabs a full trash bag from the kitchen. She drops it in his can, quickly walks away and makes sure that no one saw her leave because that's what made this fun to begin with. [Image by Jim Cooke]  |
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