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The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

December 24th, 2012Top Story

The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

By Evan Narcisse

The 10 Best Games for the Wii U Hail, ye Nintendo faithful! New hardware has appeared and, loyal folk that you are, the Wii U now rests in your home. It's still early in the new console's lifecycle but that doesn't mean there aren't games that will make your latest pledge of fealty to the House of Mario feel worthwhile. Check out the list below for the two-screen offerings that make the Wii U shine.


The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

Assassin's Creed III

We reviewed Assassin's Creed III favorably on other platforms, but be warned that Ubisoft's massive adventure is probably 2012's most divisive blockbuster game. It concludes the storyline of Desmond Miles, the guy in 2012 who has been entering a device called the Animus since the first Assassin's Creed game in order to re-live the memories of his assassin ancestors. ACIII, which is technically the fifth console AC game, has Desmond and the player experiencing the exploits of a half-British/half-Native-American man named Connor who, though deeply conflicted, joins the assassin's guild in the American colonies at the time of the Revolution. This is a game about assassinating and running across rooftops, about sneaking, about commanding your own warship, about climbing trees, hunting bears, meeting Paul Revere, fighting alongside George Washington and, oh yeah, there's also a deep competitive multiplayer mode. The knock, by some, is that the game is all rough edges, a bit buggy and that Connor and colonial America aren't as wonderful to experience as Ezio and the Renaissance-era Italy of the first two games he starred in, Assassin's Creed II and AC: Brotherhood. This Wii U edition doesn't add much, though having a bigger map on the GamePad than the small one on the corner of the screen is nice.

A Good Match for: Fans of complicated history, as ACIII runs toward, not away, from the contradictions and complications of America's birth.

Not for Those Who Want: A polished experience. ACIII is a harkening back to the rough-draft era of the first Assassin's Creed, albeit with way more things to do. Frequent online patches are improving the game, gradually.

Click to view Here's how it looks in action.

Purchase from: Amazon | Wal-Mart | Best Buy | GameStop


The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

Call of Duty: Black Ops II

Why would anyone get an FPS game with an intensely hardcore fanbase on a Nintendo console? Because this Call of Duty sacrifices much less on the Wii U. Its looks stand up to other iterations of the Treyarch sequel and the two-screen design of the Wii offers up some perks that you won't get on other platforms.

A Good Match for: Folks who love getting killstreaks in co-op. With one person on the TV and another using the GamePad screen, you and a buddy can tackle other players online while sharing the same couch.

Not for Those Who Want: Well-populated servers. Compared to its PC, PS3 and Xbos 360 brethren, the Wii U version of Black Ops II feels like a ghost town.

Click to view Here's how it looks in action.

Purchase from: Amazon | Wal-Mart | Best Buy | GameStop


The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

Little Inferno

It's an interactive fireplace that challenges you to burn various things. And it has an emotional storyline. Ok? Please trust us! It's from the World of Goo people and it's… really best if you go in knowing nothing more than that.

A Good Match for: People who don't want the norm. There's never been an interactive fireplace video game that has an emotional storyline before. There probably won't be one again. You play this, you get your indie cred boosted as a bonus.

Not for Those Who Want: A traditional video game. You've got to like weird stuff and not be bothered that this isn't a shooter, a platformer, a racer, a sports game, a fighting game or anything else. Plus you have to not mind possible criticisms of the gaming medium, because that just might be what Little Inferno is really about.

Click to view Here's how it looks in action.

Purchase from: The Wii U's eShop. It's download-only.


The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

Mass Effect 3

The conclusion to BioWare's sci-fi epic might have let down a few fans with its controversial ending, but it's still a solid shooter/RPG that works well on the Wii U. You can hotkey special biotic abilities to the touchscreen on your tablet controller, so you can fling aliens around with the tap of
a finger. You can also use the GamePad as a map as you try to save Earth from the Reapers.

A Good Match for: People who don't own an Xbox 360 or PS3.

Not for Those Who Want: A perfect frame rate. The Wii
U version of Mass Effect 3 occasionally looks less than perfect.

Click to view Here's how it looks in action.

Purchase from: The Wii U eShop or Amazon | Wal-Mart | Best Buy | GameStop.


The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

Mighty Switch Force: Hyper Drive Edition

Raise your tolerance for puns and take control of Patricia Wagon, a crimefigher who has to capture escaped convicts in this throwback sidescroller that is a little bit of a shooter and a lot of puzzle-platformer. Officer Wagon has the useful ability of rendering blocks in and out of existence, which turns each timed level into a clever, puzzling quest of figuring out how to jump, climb or otherwise get around to nab the escaped bad girls. This Wii U version of the game includes difficult remixes of the original 3DS game's levels and can be played on a TV or on the Wii U GamePad.

A Good Match for: People who consider the Super Nintendo gaming's apex.

Not for Those Who Want: Their games free of cute-girls-in-trouble anime shtick.

Click to view Here's how it looks in action.

Purchase from: The Wii U's eShop. It's download-only


The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

New Super Mario Bros U

The first-ever high-definition Mario game is also warm,
familiar, and consistently fun
. You might not be surprised too often while jumping your way through the single-player campaign, but stomping on Goombas really never gets old. Plus, the Wii U's tablet controller allows for some surprisingly enjoyable multiplayer twists.

A Good Match for: People who like to game while watching TV. If you're playing single-player, you can play all of New Super Mario Bros. U on the GamePad controller.

Not for Those Who Want: Something new. Something that changes up the standard Mario formula we've been following for so long.

Click to view Here's how it looks in action.

Purchase from: Purchase from: The Wii U eShop or Amazon | Wal-Mart | Best Buy | GameStop.


The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

Nintendo Land

It's a dozen games in one and most of them are good. Nintendo Land is sort of the Wii U's version of Wii Sports, except that its games are more substantial and… not as simply, purely brilliant as the bowling and tennis in that famous Wii launch game. Half of Nintendo Land's diverse games are made to be played solo, three are multiplayer-only and three can be played solo or with friends. All 12 show different, interesting ways the Wii U GamePad can be used to control games. The stars of the bundle are the surprisingly deep co-op Zelda adventure, the graphically-shocking Pikmin missions, the lovely Balloon Trip iPad-like game and the crowd-pleasing party favorites: Mario Chase and Luigi's Ghost Mansion.

A Good Match for: Nintendo buffs, since the game is presented as a Nintendo-themed theme park and reward players with all sort of Nintendo-themed unlockable décor. Nintendo Land also serves as a great instruction manual for the Wii U's features, too.

Not for Those Who Want: One focused game (this ain't that) or one game as perfectly tuned for people of any age or type as Wii Sports tennis (Nintendo Land's Mario Chase comes closest).

Click to view Here's how it looks in action.

Purchase from: Amazon | Wal-Mart | Best Buy | GameStop


The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

Scribblenauts Unlimited

The Wii U version of Scribblenauts Unlimited presents all the crazy mad-libs puzzle-solving of 5th Cell's charming game in hi-def. That alone is a reason to cheer. But Unlimited also lets players in on Maxwell's back story and offers up clever multiplayer features to boot. Combine all those elements with the fact that a TV-centric Scribblenauts makes for a laugh-out-loud experience and you may have the best version of an already good game.

A Good Match for: Wannabe comic-book creators. This version of Scribblenauts has the Object Editor, with lets players craft their own unique mashed-up creations—like a winged zebra—and share them with other players, who can then tweak them even more. If someone else's twisted imagination has thought of a weirdo lifeform, then you can revel in using it.

Not for Those Who Want: Variety. More words and more creativity mean that many of the game's puzzles will feel really lightweight and repetitive.

Click to view Here's how it looks in action.

Purchase from: Amazon | Wal-Mart | Best Buy | GameStop


The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

Trine 2: Director's Cut

Trine games are side-scrollers that are made to impress you with 1) their amazing fantasy-world graphics, 2) their in-world physics systems and 3) the diversity of gameplay you get in switching from playing as a melee warrior, a sneaky thief and a mage who can render objects into existence. You can play solo or three-player co-op, and the Wii U version incudes the game's Goblin Menace expansion.

A Good Match for: Graphics gawkers. This game is beautiful and—bonus—is the rare Wii U launch game that outshines its Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 versions (but maybe not the PC one).

Not for Those Who Want: To play Mario, Mighty Switch Force, the upcoming Rayman Legends or any of the other side-scrollers already cropping up on Wii U. There are a lot to choose from.

Click to view Here's how it looks in action.

Purchase from: The Wii U's eShop. It's download-only


The 10 Best Games for the Wii U

ZombiU

The best third-party game on the Wii U takes a hackneyed scenario and puts it in a locale where it feels a bit more unexpected. While ZombiU's undead apocalypse does feel fresher because of its London setting, it's really the chain-link single-player campaign and asymmetrical multiplayer that make it shine. There's something morbidly apropos about having to find and loot the walking corpse of the character you previously controlled—to keep use of the best gear after you die—while playing solo. And facing off against others in the game's asymmetrical multiplayer battles makes controlling the bad guys more fun than being the hero.

A Good Match for: Passive-aggressive survival horror fans. The atmosphere is dark and desperate in ZombiU and every bullet counts. Holding the Wii U gamepad up to use as a scanner isn't just a new-hardware gimmick. It's a crucial mechanic that reveals zombie placements and where weapons and items might be. And if you're stuck on a particular sequence, a hint from another player might be your salvation. Or a trick to doom you to yet another death.

Not for Those Who Want: Meaningful relationships with playable characters. Other than "Zombies! Holy crap! Don't die!", the avatars you'll control in ZombiU single-player don't get much in the way of backstory and motivation.

Click to view Here's how it looks in action.

Purchase from: Amazon | Wal-Mart | Best Buy | GameStop

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What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate It

December 24th, 2012Top Story

What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate It

By Adam Dachis

What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate ItChristmas is the most wonderful time of the year for many people, but a large number of us don't celebrate the holiday, giving us nothing to do on December 25th. If you're without plans this year, here's how to make the most of your day off.

The Obvious Stuff

Chinese restaurants and movie theaters traditionally stay open on Christmas day for those of us who have nowhere else to go. In fact, my Christmas plans involve both because I enjoy them. While this guide will include ways to find other activities, you shouldn't necessarily rule out these classic non-Christmas activities. They're staples of the un-holiday for good reason.

Chinese Food

What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate ItFinding a Chinese restaurant that's open on Christmas doesn't take much work. Click here to search Yelp for options near you that are open. A few phone calls (or, in my case, one) should find you some good options. If you're in a larger city with a large cluster of Chinese restaurants (e.g. Chinatown), look in that area as well. Don't forget to make a reservation even if it's just dinner for you or a small party. Popular restaurants sometimes receive so much business on Christmas day that they can't accommodate everyone. Last year, when I visited a restaurant unprepared, they laughed at me and said there was no way I was getting in. When I finally found a place, it took over an hour to get a table. Perhaps you won't run into a problem, but it's always better to be prepared.

Movies

What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate ItFor your entertainment, movies are the traditional choice. Several come out on Christmas day because theaters attract both people who celebrate the holiday and those that don't. The Washington Times offers a list of ten great movies for Christmas if you're looking for suggestions. Since you can buy movie tickets online, it's easy to ensure you have a seat in advance. Just hit up Fandango, MovieTickets.com, or buy directly from your theater of choice in advance. Because theaters tend to be very busy on Christmas, you'll want to show up earlier than usual—at least 30 minutes—to ensure you get a decent seat. If you can buy your ticket from a theater with reserved seats, that's your best bet. Just purchase early or you may not have access to the best ones.

The Not-So-Obvious Stuff

Chinese restaurants and movie theaters aren't the only establishments open on Christmas. A number of other retail chains—and even some local stores—keep limited hours for the minority who do not celebrate the holiday.

Activities

What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate ItSeveral attractions remain open on Christmas day, especially in larger cities. As always, call ahead before making plans. Here are your options:

  • Pretend to Be a Tourist: Tourist attractions tend to stay open on Christmas, especially in larger cities. This includes places like Madame Tussaud's and Ripley's Believe It or Not as well as zipline and Segway tours. Find out what's local to your area and chances are they'll have special Christmas hours. Of course, many tourist attractions don't have to remain open for you to enjoy them. If you go check out a monument or historical landmark, they're around on Christmas and cost you nothing.
  • Visit a Park or Skating Rink: It may be cold outside (in some places), but if you bundle up you can enjoy a park or skating rink. Bring some friends and get a game of snow football together. Take a sled with you if your park has a big hill. When you get home, make some hot chocolate and enjoy being warm again.
  • Get a Room: If you've got some spare cash lying around and have nothing better to do, get a room at a hotel. Hotels can't exactly close on Christmas and offer plenty of amenities. As always, be sure to call ahead and find out if there are any Christmas day restrictions.
  • Use Christmas as a Catch-Up Day: Is everyone out of town? Have you been neglecting chores, work, your hobbies, generally hacking your life, or even working on a few DIY projects? While getting things done may not be anyone's first choice on their day off, Christmas or otherwise, you can spend at least part of your day knocking a few things off your to-do list and the rest of the time relaxing. That way you'll get a break and still feel accomplished.
  • Spend Time with Friends and Family at Home: Just because you don't celebrate Christmas, itself, doesn't mean you can't spend the day with family and/or friends. Play games, watch a movie, cook together, talk, or whatever else you'll all enjoy. You don't have to go out to have fun, so don't rule out staying in with people you care about.

These are just a handful of options. A few local activities and attractions, such as arcades, laser tag, spas, and sports clubs stay open on Christmas day. We couldn't possibly list them all here, but call a few places to find out if they're open. You might be surprised.

Restaurants

What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate ItSeveral restaurants remain open on Christmas day, so if you aren't a fan of Chinese food you can often count on national chains. Keep in mind that franchises often do not follow the same schedule, so while one Burger King may be open on Christmas, another may not. Be sure to call first and check. Here are your options this year:

If you don't want to go to a restaurant and prefer to eat at home, most grocery stores prepare Christmas dinners. Call your local store for more information if you'd like to simply have a dinner ready-to-go that you can eat at home.

Drug, Convenience, and Grocery Stores

What to Do on Christmas When You Don't Celebrate ItYou won't find much to celebrate at a store, but many chains traditionally stay open for a short time on Christmas day. Here are the options that we know of.

Drug Stores:

Grocery Stores:

  • Winn Dixie
  • Kroger (and some Kroger-owned stores, such as Ralph's)
  • Pathmark
  • Safeway (and Safeway-owned stores): Most locations will not be open on Christmas, but a Yelp search often reveals if a nearby location will. Several users discuss the possibilities, so check and see (or just call your local store).

Convenience/Other Stores:

Plan Ahead

Because so few places are open on Christmas day, you'll want to get a plan together in advance. This won't take more than 15-20 minutes in most cases, and can ensure you won't run into any unwanted disappointments during the day. Just follow these steps:

  1. Make a list of the places you want to go.
  2. Call nearby locations to confirm they'll be open, as not every chain follows corporate holiday hour recommendations. It's always a good idea to find out their exact hours for Christmas day, too.
  3. Make reservations at any restaurant(s) you plan to visit.
  4. Put together a basic timeline of the day, accounting for travel time, so you don't lose any reservations, miss a movie, or arrive after the store closes.

If you follow those steps you'll be ready to enjoy a very special non-Christmas, whether you're going solo or enjoying the day with others.

Photos by abdulsatarid (Shutterstock), Katarina Kirilova (Shutterstock), Paul Lowry, KB35, Pierce Martin, Elvert Barnes, and me.

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The Day We Became Cynical: How Did You Find Out Santa Isn't Real?

December 24th, 2012Top Story

The Day We Became Cynical: How Did You Find Out Santa Isn't Real?

By Gawker Staff

The Day We Became Cynical: How Did You Find Out Santa Isn't Real?Every child eventually experiences that crushing day when he or she realizes that Santa Claus, that totally implausible overweight gift-giver, is (SPOILER) not real. For those of us who thrive on cynicism, it's almost difficult to remember a time when we could be so joyfully naive—it took us a few years to realize that everything is horrible. Here, we've gathered our stories of the day our innocence died. Please share your own in the comments.

Rich Juzwiak:

From the time that you start understanding who Santa Claus is, everywhere you look are signs that he doesn't actually exist. The Castle Grayskull toy that I found under my parents bed when I was 4? Santa either dropped it off early or my mother got it for him to give me – after all, he didn't actually know me. The kids on my bus who told me there was no Santa Claus? They were no authorities – they were fellow kids. My father confirming it? He was just being mean.

Click to view I didn't believe anyone until I heard Phoebe Cates' extremely weird, extremely dark monologue in Gremlins about her father dressing up as Santa Claus, slipping, breaking his neck and getting stuck in his family's chimney for days. Maybe it was the morbidity, maybe it was her delivery, maybe it was the fact that I was so entranced by that movie about impossibly cute, music-playing, English-understanding, upright guinea pigs with Persian cat eyes little munchkins that turned into havoc-wreaking monsters, that I was willing to accept anything it threw at me. When Cates ended her monologue with, "And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus," that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

Drew Magary:

I was rifling through a drawer in the kitchen when I stumbled on an old note I wrote to Santa. My mom had thrown it in there late one Christmas Eve and then forgotten all about it. And when I saw the note, I was devastated. And I wasn't young, either. I think I was, like, ten. I showed the letter to my older sister because I was so scandalized and she was like, "Yeah, no shit, you moron." BUT HE WAS STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT.

Emma Carmichael:

By the time I was in the fifth grade, I really wanted to continue believing in Santa, even though most of my friends had let the magic die by then. My teacher at the time, a wonderful woman named Mrs. Kurty, was facing a growing faction of cynical 11-year-olds. She sat us down that December and had us debate whether or not Santa was real. "If Santa is real," I said at some point during the discussion, "then why do kids who have more money get more presents?" The room went silent and there were lots of grave nods. It was Deep. It was A Moment. Soon after that I remember demanding my father tell me the truth, and then sobbing.

The Day We Became Cynical: How Did You Find Out Santa Isn't Real?My younger brother Joe was more creative about it. He looked in the title page for The Polar Express (greatest kids' Christmas book ever, for the record) at about age 9 and saw "Santa Claus — Fiction." The Library of Congress is evil.

Neetzan Zimmerman:

One day, while celebrating Hanukkah in my home in Israel, I asked my Jewish parents if Santa was real and they said no.

Max Read:

In retrospect I think the first seeds of doubt were planted in my mind when my parents told me that Santa Claus would probably prefer we leave him some beer, rather than milk and cookies. This didn't, exactly, not make sense — Santa Claus is an adult, and adults, I knew, drank Rolling Rock — but it also maybe indicated to me, age five or so, that there was a real Santa Claus, a beer-drinking Santa Claus, who was different from the fake Santa Claus portrayed in rhyming poems and Coca Cola commercials. My guess is that the rest of it fell into place over the next year. I wasn't really sad, though; in fact, I have the sense that I didn't let my parents know I was on to them for at least a couple Christmases after that because I didn't want to make them feel bad — though looking back they clearly weren't that concerned with keeping Santa's non-existence secret.

Mobutu Sese Seko:

I was embarrassingly old. Not into double-digits, but at least a good 18 months past the point where everyone else on the playground had concurred that Santa was a bunch of hooey. I remember balling my fists at my sides and stomping my foot and shouting, "No! Santa is real!" with such certainty and zeal that finding out the truth was immediately mortifying. No plausible deniability. No gradually walking back that claim. At least I'd never claimed that Go-Bots were just as good as Transformers, like that one kid whose parents had gotten him the wrong thing for his birthday and who then spent half the school year deluding himself.

Eventually, my peers' collective insistence got to me. I went home welling with grief that Santa might not be real or that lousy kids could be screwing up the system by not believing in him. I demanded my mom tell me the truth, and she did, once she made sure that I really wanted to hear it. She showed the same helpful, responsible frankness a year later when I insisted on knowing what the hell sex is, and she related the details in both practical and scientific terms. It was light years more helpful than the "Life Management Skills" class I would later be obligated to take in high school, where a shallow, dim, Victoria Jackson-type teacher got around the mandatory curriculum by ignoring large parts and swapping detail with euphemism. "And then Jesus tells the stork, 'Let us take light to make a gift of love!' And the stork throws down his jar of Vlasic pickles, and he sez to Jesus, he sez..."

Funnily, it's the Big Santa Reveal that I think of whenever I get truly exasperated with religious fundamentalists. Faith doesn't bother me; I have too many ministers in the family, went to too many years of Episcopal school and have been immersed in the culture too long. But I remember the intensity of everything I felt—the physical anger that came over me that not only did other kids disbelieve but that they kept saying I looked stupid, because I couldn't cite anything to prove Santa was real. I remember feeling the chasm in my heart that Santa used to occupy and thinking these people had torn him out. In the span of minutes, I felt all those negative things that internet atheists sneeringly and humorlessly ascribe to the faithful. I felt bereft, mocked, embarrassed and under attack. I felt proud of myself for refusing to abandon Santa. And I felt pity, that the universes of all the people around me were that much smaller and dimmer. I try to remember these things whenever someone is telling me that Jesus would want to cut the Department of Education. In a way, I was once That Guy, and everything around me only made me want to be him even harder.

For the record, my mom tried to mitigate the heartache, because she's a good mom. She told me that Santa's still real if we keep him in our hearts. I know she was trying her best, but of course I'd heard that before, at practically every TV and movie funeral. If I had to keep Santa—or anything alive—with the strength of only my heart, the implication was pretty clear. Santa was dead.

Camille Dodero:

Me, age 5: "Is Santa real?"

My mother, a grown woman who still cries every time Santa Claus arrives at the Macy's Day Parade: "Do you really want to know?"

What I really wanted to know was if I was smarter than the other kids. So I said yes and she said no. Then I "accidentally" ruined it for my friends. I told Ann Pimental Mrs. Claus didn't make her life-sized rag doll, but some lady down the street. I told Jessica W. there was no Santa and made her cry. I told the class during story time about an imaginary world where there was no Santa, it was "just parents," because I wanted them to realize, later, that I was smarter. But surely all they came to realize was that I was a little asshole.

Robert Kessler:

Growing up half-Jewish at an Episcopalian school, I always had a secret. I was gay, but also I knew that Santa didn't exist - it's the second secret that's relevant today.

This was, for the beginning of my life, a burden I bore all on my own. At my parents' insistence I told no one, so as not to spoil their Christmases. This was, however, until I figured out how to use "The Secret" - not the book - to my advantage. There was a group of boys: they were popular, athletic and at the time I had no idea why, but I was quite infatuated with them.

They didn't care much for me, but they did like two things: the creek at the edge of the playground, and secrets. So on a grey December day, I lead these boys (boys who all grew up to join fraternities and my life made so much more sense) down to the creek to tell them Santa was a big old Christmas Tall Tale. They cried, and I comforted them all. I felt both guilty and self-satisfied for ruining their childhoods. But as I lent each a supportive shoulder I also felt a warm feeling, somewhere just below my stomach. It was something I'd never felt, and wouldn't understand, not until many years later.

Taylor Berman:

I couldn't remember how I learned Santa wasn't real, so I asked my mom this morning. "Jake Thompson," she said right away. Apparently, I was six or seven and minding my own business at an Easter egg hunt when Jake, who is a year older, pulled me aside and said, "You know the Easter Bunny and Santa aren't real, right?" I didn't but, according to my mom, I immediately went inside and asked her. My mom: "I didn't want to call him a liar, so I told you, 'There's a magical thing that goes on...', but you figured it out. And then you asked about the Tooth Fairy." So basically, Jake Thompson ruined my childhood.

My mom is still mad about it, by the way. In fact, she's ranting about it now, as I write. "Jake never had any magic in his life."

Leah Beckmann:

Like many children born under the sign of the menorah, I wanted to throw all my smelly latkes and sour cream in the trash and trade up for a cinnamon stick and politely frosted sugar cookies. My parents kept up the Santa facade so we wouldn't feel left out on a predominately gentile playground, and every Christmas we watched one million Christmas movies. By the time I was ten, literally all I wanted was for Tim Allen to give me a goblet of hot chocolate while I cruised in that gilded sleigh.

The Day We Became Cynical: How Did You Find Out Santa Isn't Real?It was in mid-swing on the monkey bars when Jessica Madden destroyed my life. She was a really cool mean girl and once she made me cry when she made fun of the penny loafers I was wearing (with an actual penny in each shoe, obviously). "Duh Santa Clause isn't real," she said. "Fuck youuuu, Jessica," is what I should have responded. But instead I focused all my energy on continuing to believe in the Tooth Fairy, which I did for at least another two years (which means while some girls were getting their first periods, I was writing letters to my mom about my teeth). This is a letter written from my sister way too late in the game.

Adrian Chen:

When I was seven I became suspicious that Santa wasn't real. I confronted my Mom angrily a couple weeks before Christmas. Mom denied everything. At least until I broke into a full tantrum. "You're right, Adrian," she said with a sigh. "Dad and I are Santa."

I was stunned. My accusation had been based on only a vague hunch—and a hunch I desperately wanted to be untrue. And now Mom had just confirmed it after a few minutes of me hounding her? But my wavering flame of belief was fanned by the tone of Mom's confession, which was the tone moms use when they are sick of arguing with their seven-year-olds and will say anything to make them go play Gameboy.
This tone confused me and I got angrier, to the point of tears.

"Are you REALLY Santa?"

"Yes, Adrian, your Dad and I are Santa." (In that same whatever-you want-dear tone.)

"But, mom, are you REALLY SANTA?"

After ten minutes of this, Mom flip-flopped again and said that she and Dad actually weren't Santa, and that, as her tone suggested, she'd confessed just to make me happy. Having stared into the terrifying abyss of Santa's nonexistence, I accepted this last point with relief. I had overplayed my hand and Mom had expertly called my bluff. I slinked off to play Gameboy.

Still, I had my hunch and I was determined to get to the bottom of it without letting Mom lead me down another psychologically fucked-up hall of mirrors. I needed empirical evidence, something solid to stand up to the adults I'd just learned were equipped with a sociopathic ability to lie when it came to Santa. I came up with a plan.

Christmas morning, we were at my grandparent's house. My sisters and I roamed the wrapping paper wreckage in the living room while my parents drank tea with my grandparents in the kitchen. I went into the kitchen and asked Mom if she could write a phrase on a piece of paper. I fed her a story about how I was playing a game with my sisters or something. What phrase should she write? Oh, just a random phrase like, say, "To Adrian: from Santa." She suspected nothing, wrote out the phrase, and I sprinted back into the living room to compare her handwriting with what was on my presents.

I was shocked. The handwriting was completely different. She hadn't wrapped my presents. Santa was real. The world was a place of wonder where anything was possible after all.

Of course, I didn't consider that the fact the presents weren't wrapped by Mom didn't mean they were necessarily prepared by Santa in his North Pole workshop and not some other non-magical being, like, maybe my dad in our basement. Mom did typically wrap all of the presents for my two sisters and me, but that particular year, she later told me, she'd been so burned out by the end that my Dad did the last batch, which happened to include my presents. So the handwriting didn't match, and I continued to believe.

The next year I found out Santa wasn't real. I don't know exactly how it happened, but I remember not caring too much.

How did your childhood end? And how are you preserving (or ruining) your child's innocence? Share with us below.

Photo: Getty.

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