The Onion Daily Dispatch - April 25, 2012

Wed Apr 25, 2012 www.theonion.com

Group Of '90s Footnotes Welcomes Gingrich Home 04.25.12 NEW YORK—Saying they held no grudge against him and were just glad he was back where he belongs, a group of cultural footnotes from the 1990s announced today that they were happy to welcome home former Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich... News in Brief » Study: Red Meat Takes Years Off Of Cow's Life American Voices » Wind Farms Leave Most Birds Unaffected "But what of our nation's precious kite population?" opinion » Well, Well, Well, Look Who’s Come Crawling To His Uncle To Hear His Fleetwood Mac Concert Stories by Michael Fleischmann Ah, my dear nephew, I thought those were your steps I heard. Allow me to pause this Mirage concert bootleg; may I ask to what I owe this unexpected visit? Radio News » Cancer Victim Given Second Chance At Death

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Sex with you is an earth-shattering experience, especially the part where hundreds of Indonesians lose their lives. Most Popular » Group Of '90s Footnotes Welcomes Gingrich Home United Airlines Exploring Viability Of Stacking Them Like Cordwood Obama's Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone You Look Like You Could Use Someone To Talk To On This 5-Hour Bus Ride Entire Train Ride Spent Deciding If, When To Use Bathroom Al-Qaeda Claims U.S. Mass Transportation Infrastructure Must Drastically Improve Before Any Terrorist Attacks

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