Poll: 99% Of Human Beings Would Prefer Big, Slobbery Hound Dog Pope - March 06, 2013

Wed Mar 06, 2013 www.theonion.com

Obnoxious Friend Won't Stop Attaining Major Life Milestones 03.05.13 ALEXANDRIA, VA—Annoyed sources confirmed this week that married and pregnant local woman Ashley Canfield will not stop achieving significant life milestones, unanimously agreeing that the 30-year-old law school graduate seriously needs to just cool ... Child Who Just Lost Balloon Begins Lifelong Battle With Depression News in Brief » U.N. Aid Workers Distributing Food To Malnourished KFC Customers Poll: 99% Of Human Beings Would Prefer Big, Slobbery Hound Dog Pope Area Man Unsure If He’s Supposed To Want Hugo Chavez To Die Or Not American Voices » Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez Dies “That’s a shame. All the best enemies of America die young.” Second Sinkhole Opens In Tampa video » Romney Blames Loss On Successfully Communicating His Message To Minorities  In his first televised interview since the election, Mitt Romney said his bid for the White House was doomed by his ability to effectively and honestly convey his opinions to minority voters. opinion » Look, It’s Come Down To This: Either I Have To Murder John Boehner Or He Has To Murder Me by Barack Obama, 44th President Of The United States By Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States Radio News » Pea Farmers Say They Alone Keep Peas From Overrunning Planet

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 The stars don’t understand how you can sleep at night after everything that you’ve done, though they’re mostly just referring to all the napping. Most Popular »

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