The Other Side of Life 24/7: The Cynical Girl: One in Four People Spend More Time Online Than In Bed

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Cynical Girl: One in Four People Spend More Time Online Than In Bed

One in Four People Spend More Time Online Than In Bed

Posted: 01 Dec 2011 03:45 AM PST

I read an article that confirmed a pretty obvious trend — one in four people spend more time online than in bed.

In an era of micro-celebrity and personal brands, this makes sense to me in a sad & pathetic way. I am just back from a vacation where I promised myself that I would totally unplug. Of course I did not. I am the kind of woman who has to show off her stupid iPhone pictures from the Eiffel Tower.

“Look at me, Ma! I’m in Gay Paree!”

My husband had to talk me out of posting pictures of myself wearing ridiculous berets.

“Come on! That’s Facbeook gold!”

Apparently it is not.

One night, my mobile phone rang and I didn’t recognize the number. The husband and I were just (wink wink) going to bed.

“Should I answer it?” I asked. “Might be the security system or something bad.”

“Might as well,” he answered since I had already climbed out of bed to look at the phone.

You know who was on the phone? My Twitter account representative.

“Hi, Laurie. I’m calling to talk to you about your company’s current ad campaigns.”

What? Oh my god. In Paris. Talking to Twitter. On my international Verizon wireless plan. And I need a robe.

“Uh, yeah, now is not a good time. I’m in Paris.”

I said that because I am elitist during even the most inappropriate moments.

“Paris! That’s lovely! Can we connect on Monday?”

Holy crap. She was trying to lock me down for a follow-up sales call and my husband was trying not to kill me. Awkward!

So I speak from experience as a social media strategist, an egomaniac, and a woman riled with anxieties — you should probably turn off the phone, unplug from the internet, and get some rest.

Go to bed.
Get some sleep.
Snuggle (nudge nudge) with your significant other.

It used to be that television and radio were the excuses that kept us up at night. Now that we have a tool (i.e., social media) that promises connection and engagement. We sacrifice sleep in the hopes that our egos will be flattered and our insecurities will be soothed.

I know that there is no Facebook status so urgent and no tweet so pressing that it can’t wait until the morning.

Trust me. Twitter ruins everything.