| | In 2010, The Onion opened up its privately owned state-of-the-art wormhole satellites to give the ignorant masses an exclusive look into the landscape of news media more than 125 years in the future. The 10-minute clip quickly rose to #2 in the iTunes Store, with competing news sources from The New York Times to CNN to The Huffington Post forced to admit their inferiority and encourage citizens to watch the world's demise as only the Onion News Network could report it. |  | | | | | Now, for the first time, our loyal viewers can feverishly consume Future: News From The Year 2137 for free on YouTube at http://youtu.be/iKC21wDarBo See the future for what it is: - A catastrophe known only as "the Burndown" has reduced the world to a lawless wasteland.
- A tattooed thug has been installed as the president of what remains of the United States.
- In robot-controlled Californiex, humans are forced into speed-dating programs to produce more slave offspring.
- Protesters in the Indiana Grimlands brave devastated city centers, coming out in full force to defeat a bill that would allow same-sex couples to wed.
- The last remaining Israeli and Palestinian are still locked in battle Ginally, completion of the world-destroying 'Doomsday Machine' has been delayed once again, sparking widespread outrage that life on earth will have to continue.
- All that and more are available for eye-streaming with Future: News From The Year 2137. Because to stay ahead in today's world, you need to know what's going to happen in tomorrow's.
"A warning to all people who bemoan the shoddy and salacious state of cable news." — The New York Times "The Onion has seen the future, and it doesn't look good." — The Huffington Post "An impressively high-tech look at what our beleaguered descendants are in for." — Salon | | You are receiving this message because you have a newsletter subscription with The Onion. Click here to opt-out. | |
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