Resigning Pope No Longer Has Strength To Lead Church Backward - February 12, 2013

Tue Feb 12, 2013 www.theonion.com

Resigning Pope No Longer Has Strength To Lead Church Backward 02.11.13 VATICAN CITY—Citing his advancing age and deteriorating health, Pope Benedict XVI announced his resignation from the papacy Monday, saying he no longer possessed the strength and energy required to lead the Catholic Church backward. News in Brief » 'Walking Dead' Writers Regret Naming Every Single Character 'Rick' American Voices » Pope Benedict XVI To Resign “Benedict has made a mockery of our proud tradition of watching popes slowly shrivel away and descend into senility!” opinion » Look, I'm Just Going To Say It: I Collect Antique Nazi Memorabilia by Barack Obama, President Of The United States As I begin my second term as president, I am honored to continue to serve this great country as we tackle the myriad problems that face us in the 21st century. Radio News » Area Bassist Fellated

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