The Onion Daily Dispatch - December 07, 2012

Fri Dec 07, 2012 www.theonion.com

Obama Paranoid Government Coming For His Guns 12.06.12 WASHINGTON—Reflecting attitudes held throughout his personal and political life, President Barack Obama restated Thursday his long-standing fear that the U.S. News in Brief » Sitcom Characters Still In Shock After Christmas Episode Proves Existence Of Santa Claus American Voices » Starbucks Opening 3,000 New Stores “Finally.” opinion » I Honestly Don't Understand How Anyone Could Support Chris Brown by Chris Brown By Chris Brown Radio News » Raccoon Leaders Call For Loosening Of Garbage-Can Lids

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, My girlfriend and I can’t find a decent place to eat in our neighborhood. Help! Please publish a restaurant review soon, as we are both very hungry. — Tony Fechtor, Chicago Most Popular » Obama Paranoid Government Coming For His Guns Starbucks Opening 3,000 New Stores Area Man Excited Friend Is Getting Divorced 15-Year-Old Duchess Of McComb, AL Announces Pregnancy Man Freely Smoking Pot in Washington Literally Has No Issue He Feels Strongly About Anymore I Honestly Don't Understand How Anyone Could Support Chris Brown

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