The Onion Daily Dispatch - November 13, 2012

Tue Nov 13, 2012 www.theonion.com

BuzzFeed Editors Unsure How To Spin Petraeus Story Into Reason The '90s Were Great 11.12.12 NEW YORK—With Monday’s peak web traffic hours nearly over, editors at the viral content site BuzzFeed told reporters they were still searching for a way to incorporate the news of CIA director David Petraeus’s career-ending affair into a... News in Brief » Interim CIA Director Assures Nation He Engages In No Sexual Activity Whatsoever American Voices » Wal-Mart To Open On Thanksgiving Evening “Wal-Mart isn’t very classy.” opinion » This May Not Be The Ideal Moment Politically, But It’s Time To Talk Reparations by Barack Obama, Incumbent Candidate For President Of The United States By Barack Obama Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Why is everyone saying “vagina” these days? — Bea Dickerson, Traverse City, MI Most Popular » Wal-Mart To Open On Thanksgiving Evening Area Mom Freaking Out For No Reason Again Anorexic Woman At Gym Looking Good Interim CIA Director Assures Nation He Engages In No Sexual Activity Whatsoever Sources: Petraeus Knew About Affair For More Than A Year BuzzFeed Editors Unsure How To Spin Petraeus Story Into Reason The '90s Were Great

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