Study: People Far Away From You Not Actually Smaller - August 24, 2013

Sat Aug 24, 2013 www.theonion.com

Employee Offering Suggestion At Meeting Slowly Grows Quieter And Quieter Until Eventually Squeaking ‘I Don’t Know’ 08.23.13 PLANO, TX—While speaking up at a business strategy meeting earlier today, sources confirmed that Ceres Network Analytics assistant sales manager Jeffrey Horton, 49, offered a suggestion for the future of the company that steadily decreased in volume... News in Brief » Report: Last Time Anyone Actually Rose To The Occasion Was 2002 American Voices » Ben Affleck To Play Batman “I can see him as Batman. But I think everyone could be Batman.” opinion » Time Flies When You’re Feeding An Addiction To Internet Pornography Over Which You No Longer Have Any Control by Geoff Harkham By Geoff Harkham Radio News » New Crispy Snack Cracker To Ease Crushing Pain Of Modern Life

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, I’ve been protesting outside your headquarters for the past six months but I’ve forgotten why. Do you remember? My sign says “The Time Is Now!” if that helps at all. — Thanks! Susan Hoyt, Chicago Most Popular »

If you do not want to receive anymore emails from us, please click the following link unsubscribe. All of our emails are sent from the domain http://www.theonion.com.