The Onion Daily Dispatch - October 30, 2012

Tue Oct 30, 2012 www.theonion.com

20 Idiots Evacuated From Times Square M&M's Store 10.29.12 NEW YORK—With Hurricane Sandy pounding New York City with powerful winds and a dangerous storm surge Monday, emergency workers were mobilized quickly to evacuate 20 colossal morons from the M&M’s World store in Times Square. News in Brief » Misinformed Man Riding Out Storm In Bathtub Filled With Batteries American Voices » Quitting Smoking Adds Decade To Women's Lives “Hmm, what’s the takeaway here? Should I stop smoking?” opinion » I Hope The Guy Who Got Knocked Out By The American Thighs In That Song Is Okay by Janice Weingarten By Janice Weingarten Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Self-improvement may be a noble goal, but the stars aren’t so sure the leg rests, dual cup-holders, and wood paneling are what people had in mind. Most Popular » Nation Suddenly Remembers Simple Comforts Of Having Out-Of-Touch White Man Run Country Quitting Smoking Adds Decade To Women's Lives Report: Majority Of Americans Now Eating One Continuous Meal A Day 20 Idiots Evacuated From Times Square M&M's Store Misinformed Man Riding Out Storm In Bathtub Filled With Batteries Ways To Wait Out Hurricane Sandy

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