The Other Side of Life 24/7: The Cynical Girl: Looking for a Job is Not Like Dating

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Cynical Girl: Looking for a Job is Not Like Dating

Posted: 29 Oct 2012 06:45 AM PDT

My husband and I were at the movies, the other night, seeing Seven Psychopaths. We got there early because we are old. I was on Twitter while Ken played Bejeweled.

Pfffft. That’s another blog post.

Just down the aisle from me? Two young people on a date. I thought — this has got to be a first date because no one is putting up with this kind of shit on date #2. Seven Psychopaths? Are you kidding me? I’m sure they both share a love of Christopher Walken but come. on.

And I could tell it was a new-ish couple because the dude said things like, “I could have gone to NYC after college but that scene is so tired.”

Right, dude. Okay.

Then they bonded over their mutual dislike of Romney. It was so honest, earnest and vulnerable. They were doing a dance. It was charming and awkward. I poked Ken and kept trying to get his attention but he was all, “Not now, Laur, I gotta match these four triangles for a big bejazzled bejewel.”

Pfffft x2. Again, another blog post.

So I hit the interwebs.

Listening to people on dates is both sweet and insufferable. Let me help you: he’s a nice guy and she will absolutely put out. There you go.

— Laurie Ruettimann (@lruettimann) October 26, 2012

Dating is so bizarre — and looking for a job is absolutely not like dating. For one, a job is just a job. Also, the stakes are higher when you’re dealing with the affairs of the heart.

But I can see why some people roll with the analogy. When you’re looking for someone to love, it is all about search and selection. We want big data but we have no idea how to apply it to our search criteria. And then we tell people to be humble but confident — whatever the hell that means — while also being vulnerable but not too needy.

Yeah. Do that. And make me a pie.

Very simply, I have a message for you if you are dating and/or looking for a job:

SHUT UP AND GET TO IT.

One date (or interview) is fabulous. Good for you. Do the dance. Play the game. Be a little coy. The second one? You are gonna click or not.

And I’m not sure what you are waiting for, either. The embossed invitations to the bedroom — or the amazing job opportunity — aren’t coming unless you ask. In fact, don’t ask. Assume it is yours and shift your attitude accordingly.

You heard it here first: she will put out and that company will hire you.

Fortune favors the bold and the brave.

Get to it.