The Onion Daily Dispatch - September 04, 2012

Tue Sep 04, 2012 www.theonion.com

Nation Tired Of Having To Skim Past Headlines About Apple, Samsung Lawsuit 09.04.12 WASHINGTON—Citizens browsing news sites across the United States expressed frustration Monday after being forced to skim past more headlines about the ongoing patent infringement lawsuit between Apple and Samsung. News in Brief » Sun Myung Moon Funeral To Be All Weird, Sources Report American Voices » 5,000 Killed In Syria In August “Man, Assad’s getting really good at killing people.” opinion » Here Are All Of My Opinions  by John Caldwell By John Caldwell Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Unfortunately, I have to cancel my subscription since I’m joining a monastery and taking a vow of blindness. — Johnny Chen, Vienna, VA Most Popular » Romney Privately Wondering How In The Name Of Fuck He’s Going To Appeal To Asian Voters Nation Tired Of Having To Skim Past Headlines About Apple, Samsung Lawsuit Americans Take Day Off From Looking For Work 5,000 Killed In Syria In August Jovial Man Must Not Be Aware He Works At Airport Burrito Restaurant Chiefs Realize Brady Quinn Received 'Frog And Toad Are Friends' Instead Of Playbook

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