The Onion Weekly Dispatch - July 25, 2012

Wed Jul 25, 2012 www.theonion.com

Report: 2012 Election Likely To Be Decided By 4 Or 5 Key Swing Corporations 07.25.12 WASHINGTON—With polls this week showing the race between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney tightening even further, a growing number of political experts have declared this year's election will almost certainly be decided by a small handful of swing corp... Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, And Daniel Day-Lewis Come Out As Gay News in Brief » Drought Bad Mitt Romney Soars In Polls After Leaving Country Man Who Just Purchased 3,000 Rounds Of Ammunition Online Perfectly Sane, Thinks Man Processing Order American Voices » Gun Sales Surge After Shooting “Finally, the silver lining we’ve all been waiting for.” Syria: Chemical Weapons Won't Be Used On Civilians video » Reporters Struggling To Maintain Energy Until Election Andrea Bennett and Jason Copeland look ahead at the long months remaining before this election is finally over. opinion » Holy Shit, I Just Realized People Want To Kill My Dad by Sasha Obama By Sasha Obama Radio News » Party Guy Finds Party Wife

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You'll find it difficult to point out your assailant in court next week, but that's mainly because of what he’ll have done to your hands. Most Popular » Chick-Fil-A Debuts New Homophobic Sandwich Drought Bad Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, And Daniel Day-Lewis Come Out As Gay Gun Sales Surge After Shooting Report: 2012 Election Likely To Be Decided By 4 Or 5 Key Swing Corporations Uncle Ben's To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone

If you do not want to receive anymore emails from us, please click the following link unsubscribe. To unsubscribe via postal mail please send your request to: 536 Broadway New York NY, 10012 Please include the email address at which you have been contacted. All of our emails are sent from the domain http://www.theonion.com.