The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 18, 2012

Fri May 18, 2012 www.theonion.com

Heat Lose Chris Bosh Indefinitely To Severe Poetic Justice 05.18.12 MIAMI—After straining his abdominal muscles, Miami power forward Chris Bosh will be out indefinitely in what appears to be a severe case of poetic justice for his arrogant and presumptive team, sources close to the Heat confirmed Tuesday. An MRI per... News in Brief » Cop Grudgingly Admits Suspect Is The Best Goddamn Pedophile He's Seen In 30 Years On The Force American Voices » Nonwhite Babies Pass White Babies In United States "Looks like minorities are finally catching up to whites on desperately trying to fix their relationships." opinion » I Was One Of Those Kids Who Always Took Cats Apart To See How They Worked by Terrance Hanley By Terrance Hanley Radio News » Local Man Shot With Girly Pistol

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Your review of The Avengers movie is completely off base. Jeremy Renner totally nailed Hawkeye. — Jeff Hauser, Hermiston, OR Most Popular » Heat Lose Chris Bosh Indefinitely To Severe Poetic Justice Evolution Of Obama's Gay Marriage Stance Secretary Of Transportation Flips Out On Pothole In Baltimore Local Man Shot With Girly Pistol Nonwhite Babies Pass White Babies In United States Tens Of Thousands Dead In Ongoing Africa

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