The Onion Daily Dispatch - September 22, 2011

Thu Sep 22, 2011 www.theonion.com

Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation 09.22.11 RENTON, WA—Local man Paul Campbell confirmed Saturday he was raising his daughter Emma on a variety of media carefully selected to help her cultivate an appreciation for artistic quality, a move that will reportedly put the 12-year-old girl hopelessly out of touch with her generation. News in Brief » Bugs Infesting Area Apartment Have No Clear Goal American Voices » Netflix Starts Qwikster "I can't explain it, but somehow this pointless name change has made me forget all about them doubling my subscription costs." opinion » They're Canceling My Favorite Soap! by Jean Teasdale Once in a while, something happens that is so out of nowhere and so inexplicable it leaves you gasping for words. And that something happened last month, when it was announced my very favorite soap opera Brink Of Destiny would be going off the air in September! Radio News » Area Priest Plans To Leave Priesthood As Soon As Parents Die

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Unfortunately for your personal philosophy, it turns out the free market has yet to come up with a truly effective way to just go up to women and start talking to them. Most Popular » Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation First-Ever Gay 'Dear John' Letters Begin Reaching U.S. Troops Overseas Netflix Starts Qwikster Republicans Call Tax Proposal 'Class Warfare' Distressed Nation Turns To Poet Laureate For Solace 'Under New Management' Banner Heralds Bold New Era For Cell Phone Store

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