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Friday, June 10, 2011

The Onion Daily Dispatch - June 10, 2011

The Onion

Pakistani Intelligence Announces Its Full Cooperation With U.S. Forces During Upcoming Top Secret June 12 Drone Strike On Al-Qaeda At 5:23 A.M. Near Small Town Of Razmani In North Waziristan 06.09.11

ISLAMABAD—Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence agency restated Thursday its commitment to the fight against terrorism, pledging full cooperation with U.S.

News in Brief »

Grizzly Bear Sprained Paw While Mauling Hunter, Reports Ranger

American Voices »

GM CEO Suggests Additional $1 Gas Tax

"Well, if GM's top leadership is on board, then so am I. They never make woefully self-interested, shortsighted, or commercially unsuccessful decisions."

opinion »

I Just Want To Say That I Hated Every Moment Of That Piece-Of-Shit Show

Wow, I guess that's it. It's hard to believe that after pouring my heart and soul into that show for 25 years, I'll never tape another episode, sit down with another guest, or connect with another fan again.

Radio News »

Candy Purchase Puts More Money In Raisinets' Bloated Coffers

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Horoscope »

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

You'll show the world just how good an infant car seat can be once you cast aside petty concerns like cost and safety.

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