Report: Some Shirts Good, Other Shirts Not Good - August 20, 2013

Tue Aug 20, 2013 www.theonion.com

Six Flags Employee Sick Of Talking Visitors Down From Bad Acid Trips 08.19.13 GURNEE, IL—Expressing frustration at the frequency with which he is required to guide people through their darkest moments of drug-induced psychosis, Six Flags Great America employee Mark Griffin told reporters Monday that he is sick and tired of ta... Area Teen Quickly Running Out Of Chances To Be First Openly Gay Anything News in Brief » Political Cartoonist Not Sure How To Convey That Large Sack In Senator’s Hand Is Full Of Money Researchers Discover Female Frogs Prefer Mate Who Knows Way Around The Cloaca Study Finds You Irrelevant To Success Or Failure Of Bollywood Film ‘Zanjeer’ American Voices » ‘Lee Daniels’ The Butler’ Takes Box Office; ‘Jobs’ Flops “People will see anything with ‘Lee Daniels’ in the title.” Male Millennials More Likely To Live With Parents video » Dog Unaware It Isn't Starving Scientists finally pronounce the human genome, a new report finds that the Washington Redskins’ name is only offensive if you think about what it means, and a bigoted asshole makes the best barbecue. opinion » It Says Here On Your Résumé, Mr. Zimmerman, That You Shot A Boy? by Bryan Timmons, Regional Manager By Bryan Timmons, Regional Manager Radio News » New Crispy Snack Cracker To Ease Crushing Pain Of Modern Life

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