Snooze Button Time Traveler Sets Coordinates For 5 Minutes Into The Future - May 08, 2013

Wed May 08, 2013 www.theonion.com

Snooze Button Time Traveler Sets Coordinates For 5 Minutes Into The Future 05.07.13 MINNEAPOLIS—Setting his sights on a point five minutes into the future, snooze button time traveler Brent Conley, 31, engaged the launch initiation switch on his temporal teleportation device at precisely 7:30 a.m. News in Brief » 17-Year Cicadas Horrified To Learn About 9/11 American Voices » Man Creates Functional Gun On 3D Printer “That’s what the government gets for making regular guns so difficult to acquire.” opinion » We Were Going To Take Over The ‘Onion’ Website, But It’s A Real Mess With All Those Ads by The Syrian Electronic Army By The Syrian Electronic Army Radio News » National Pork Council: Many Americans Suffer From Pork Deficiency

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