 | Dwight Howard, go to your room. |
 | Irresistibility is merely a haircut away. |
 | This is not a good way to treat your sister, little girl. |
 | This is not how you should use a time machine. |
 | What does Thierry Henry, one of the best French players ever, get out of playing in the United States? |
 | It's high-floating, not very badass, and surprisingly hard to defend against. |
 | If you're a liar and work in sports, you will definitely be caught. And probably by Deadspin. |
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