Dell Acquired By Gateway 2000 In Merger Of 2 Biggest Names In Computer Technology - February 06, 2013

Wed Feb 06, 2013 www.theonion.com

Torrent Of Soap Issues From Wildly Unexpected Part Of Dispenser 02.05.13 LIMA, OH—A wall-mounted soap dispenser in the men’s bathroom of Rigali’s Pizza Village reportedly startled local resident Sam Milsom on Monday night, discharging a copious jet of soap from an entirely unexpected location. Milsom confirme... Company Posts Job Listing As If Position Not Already Filled By Existing Employee's Friend News in Brief » Dell Acquired By Gateway 2000 In Merger Of 2 Biggest Names In Computer Technology 5-Year-Old Alabama Boy Misses Fun 'Bunker Grandpa' PETA Protests Use Of Animatronic Animals In Commercials American Voices » Beyoncé, Destiny's Child Album Sales Surge After Super Bowl “Bandwagoners. I’ve been buying Beyoncé’s music since the inauguration.” Photo Of Obama Shooting Gun Stirs Controversy video » Report: Peanut Butter Contains Traces Of Rat Feces But Life's Weird Like That Sometimes A report released Monday by the Food and Drug Administration stated that the majority of peanut butter sold in the United States contains trace amounts of rat feces, but that, hey, life can be weird like that sometimes and you’ve just got to take it... opinion » Look, I'm Just Going To Say It: I Collect Antique Nazi Memorabilia by Barack Obama, President Of The United States As I begin my second term as president, I am honored to continue to serve this great country as we tackle the myriad problems that face us in the 21st century. Radio News » Area Bassist Fellated

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You're beginning to wonder exactly who is in charge of quality control for all those treasure maps. Most Popular »

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