The Onion Weekly Dispatch - June 20, 2012

Wed Jun 20, 2012 www.theonion.com

Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day 06.20.12 NEW YORK—Real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump reportedly stood before his bedroom's full-length mirror Wednesday morning and stared forlornly at his aged, shriveled penis before getting dressed and leaving his residence in Manha... Americans Enjoying 3 Months Of Vegging Out Before Responsibilities Of Fall Programming Resume News in Brief » Herman Cain Endorses Who Gives A Fuck Grandfather's Advice Pretty Bad For Someone Who's Lived That Long U.S. Improves Infrastructure With Transnational Power Strip American Voices » Hebrew National Hot Dogs Not Kosher? "So, there's a right way to shove a bunch of ground cow bits into an intestine?" Latest Apple Maps Leaves Out Mass Transit video » Brown Vs. Board Of Education Gives Black Students Opportunity To Experience Racism In Desegregated Schools The Onion looks at the discovery of a group of North Dakotan coal miners that would become the cast of 'Happy Days,' the Supreme Court ruling that allowed black students to experience racism first hand in desegregated schools, and the historic hot air bal... opinion » I Think I'd Make A Pretty Good HBO Show by 18th-Century France By 18th-Century France Radio News » Ghost Of Ted Knight Signs On As New Voice Of God

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Some things only become funny when you look back on them years later. Conversely, the events of next week will seem funny at the time, but as the years go by, society will gain sensitivity and learn to outgrow that sort of thing. Most Popular » Even CEO Can't Figure Out How RadioShack Still In Business Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day Capricious God Violently Shakes Ant Farm Day After Bestowing Orange Slices Upon Colony Hebrew National Hot Dogs Not Kosher? I Think I'd Make A Pretty Good HBO Show Armageddon Preparedness Tips

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