The Onion Daily Dispatch - December 03, 2012

Mon Dec 03, 2012 www.theonion.com

U.N. Agency Says 2012 Celebrities Hottest On Record 11.30.12 HELSINKI—In a report released Thursday at the United Nations pop culture summit in Finland, a consortium of leading entertainment scientists confirmed that the year 2012 has witnessed the hottest celebrities in recorded history. Citing evidence such... News in Brief » Reports Of Movie Being Good Reach Area Man American Voices » Dr. Dre Highest-Paid Musician Of 2012 “Wow! The Beats by Dre guy is a musician, too?” opinion » Game Changer by Smoove B, Love Man By Smoove B, Love Man Radio News » Raccoon Leaders Call For Loosening Of Garbage-Can Lids

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You'll awake this week to find a complete stranger in your room, along with her husband, their two daughters, and all of their belongings, furniture and clothes. Most Popular » Dr. Dre Highest-Paid Musician Of 2012 Area Stoner Has Mind-Blowing Out-Of-Cheetos Experience Kim Jong-Un Named The Onion's Sexiest Man Alive For 2012 [UPDATE] U.N. Votes To Recognize Palestine Fuck It, Man On Death Row Just Going To Read Entire Harry Potter Series Filthy Mitt Romney Delivers Campaign Speech To Audience Of Confused Shoppers In Ohio Safeway

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