The Onion Weekly Dispatch - November 28, 2012

Wed Nov 28, 2012 www.theonion.com

Filthy Mitt Romney Delivers Campaign Speech To Audience Of Confused Shoppers In Ohio Safeway 11.27.12 CANTON, OH—According to eyewitnesses at the scene, an unkempt and thoroughly disheveled Mitt Romney gave an impassioned campaign speech Monday to a group of bewildered shoppers inside a local Safeway. Sources confirmed the filth-covered former presi... New Season Of 'Downton Abbey' Jumps Forward To Year 2121 News in Brief » Disturbance Of Arafat's Grave Casts Horrible Curse On Middle East BREAKING: No Way Egypt Coming Out Of This With A Functional Democracy That's Fine, Area Girlfriend To See 'Anna Karenina' When Visiting Mom Over Christmas American Voices » Palestinian Leader Arafat Exhumed “But who would want to kill Yasser Arafat?” Abortions In U.S. Fall To Decade Low video » VIDEO: High School For The Performing Arts Student Goes In Depth About Really Weird Peer Pressure Philadelphia High School for Performing and Visual Arts student Samantha Bylum, 16, told reporters this week that she is currently experiencing an overwhelming amount of pressure to conform to some really weird social norms. opinion » Please Click On Our Website's Banner Ads by Hammond Morris, Onion Advertising Columnist By Hammond Morris, Onion Advertising Columnist Radio News » Raccoon Leaders Call For Loosening Of Garbage-Can Lids

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You'll awake this week to find a complete stranger in your room, along with her husband, their two daughters, and all of their belongings, furniture and clothes. Most Popular » Kim Jong-Un Named The Onion's Sexiest Man Alive For 2012 [UPDATE] Filthy Mitt Romney Delivers Campaign Speech To Audience Of Confused Shoppers In Ohio Safeway 42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record New Season Of 'Downton Abbey' Jumps Forward To Year 2121 Disturbance Of Arafat's Grave Casts Horrible Curse On Middle East Scientists Develop Highly Volatile New Relationship

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