The Onion Daily Dispatch - November 21, 2012

Wed Nov 21, 2012 www.theonion.com

Study: Everyone, Everything Linked To Paranoia 11.20.12 BALTIMORE—According to a study published Tuesday in The New England Journal Of Medicine, researchers at Johns Hopkins University have succeeded in conclusively linking everyone and everything everywhere to paranoia. The comprehensive 11-month... News in Brief » Nation's Uncles Enter Last Stage Of Prep For Thursday's Thanksgiving Debates American Voices » Apes Suffer Midlife Crises “I always look at apes on TV and think, ‘They really are just like Terry from work.’” opinion » Come On, Just Open The Door And Let Me In This Once by A Raccoon By A Raccoon Radio News » Raccoon Leaders Call For Loosening Of Garbage-Can Lids

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, You know who’s an underrated actor? I’m making a list, but I don’t have any names yet. — Dietrich Brandt, Eugene, OR Most Popular » The Onion's Guide To Hosting A Perfect Thanksgiving Hungover Couple Unaware They Broke Up Last Night Nation's Uncles Enter Last Stage Of Prep For Thursday's Thanksgiving Debates Apes Suffer Midlife Crises Only College Student Staying On Campus Planning Saddest Thanksgiving Meal Of All Time Study: Everyone, Everything Linked To Paranoia

If you do not want to receive anymore emails from us, please click the following link unsubscribe. To unsubscribe via postal mail please send your request to: 536 Broadway New York NY, 10012 Please include the email address at which you have been contacted. All of our emails are sent from the domain http://www.theonion.com.