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Friday, November 16, 2012

The Onion Daily Dispatch - November 16, 2012

The Onion

Pistons Lose To Elementary School Girls Team After Big Night From 4'9" Center 11.16.12

DETROIT—The woeful start to the Pistons’ season continued Thursday when dominant 4-foot, 9-inch center Shauna Thompson led the Thirkell Elementary School girls basketball team to an authoritative 88-72 victory over 1-8 Detroit. The Pistons str...

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Secession Petitions Filed In All 50 States

“I’m not sure how comfortable I am about the idea of a bunch of foreigners living so close to me.”

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Come On, Just Open The Door And Let Me In This Once

by A Raccoon

By A Raccoon

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Kentucky Legislature Bans Gay Pet Weddings

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Horoscope »

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

The stars foretell of a mad prophet rising in the east in the moon's next cycle. They hope this somehow helps you with your life.

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