The Onion Daily Dispatch - November 14, 2012

Wed Nov 14, 2012 www.theonion.com

Widening Petraeus Scandal Reveals Human Race Has Been Having Sex For 200,000 Years 11.13.12 WASHINGTON—Following the recent revelation that former CIA director David Petraeus conducted a protracted extramarital affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell, sources confirmed today that the far-reaching scandal has widened to reveal that manki... News in Brief » Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal American Voices » Pepsi Introduces High-Fiber, 'Fat-Blocking' Soda “About time. I’m sick of drinking Pepsi Decent.” opinion » Come On, Just Open The Door And Let Me In This Once by A Raccoon By A Raccoon Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 The stars foretell of a mad prophet rising in the east in the moon's next cycle. They hope this somehow helps you with your life. Most Popular » Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal Widening Petraeus Scandal Reveals Human Race Has Been Having Sex For 200,000 Years Intern Just Happens To Be Beautiful 22-Year-Old Woman Pepsi Introduces High-Fiber, 'Fat-Blocking' Soda Nancy Pelosi Wants Congress To Want To Pass Bill John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John Christmas Album Plunges Nation Into Double-Dip Recession

If you do not want to receive anymore emails from us, please click the following link unsubscribe. To unsubscribe via postal mail please send your request to: 536 Broadway New York NY, 10012 Please include the email address at which you have been contacted. All of our emails are sent from the domain http://www.theonion.com.