The Onion Daily Dispatch - October 29, 2012

Mon Oct 29, 2012 www.theonion.com

Secretary Of Transportation Spends 3 Hours Cleaning Up Wikipedia Page On Roundabouts 10.29.12 WASHINGTON—Grumbling that “it doesn’t take any longer to get this stuff right than it does to get it wrong,” Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood reportedly spent three hours this weekend proofreading, correcting, and in some cases ... News in Brief » Endangered Wildlife To Be Given New Identities In Species Protection Program American Voices » 'Cloud Atlas' Weak At Box Office “Some said Ulysses was unfilmable, too. Turned out it was.” opinion » I Hope The Guy Who Got Knocked Out By The American Thighs In That Song Is Okay by Janice Weingarten By Janice Weingarten Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Just making sure you got my last e-mail about clearance-priced Rolex watches. I realize the wording and formatting made it difficult to read, but I wanted to let you know that I am very serious. — Benjamin Tigerwoods, Central Valley, CA Most Popular » Secretary Of Transportation Spends 3 Hours Cleaning Up Wikipedia Page On Roundabouts God Distances Self From Christian Right 'Cloud Atlas' Weak At Box Office U.S. Signs Declaration Of Dependence On China Birthday Card Discreetly Passed Around Office Like Some Sort Of Covert CIA Operation I Mean, If I Lose To Mitt Romney, I'll Probably Kill Myself

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