The Onion Daily Dispatch - October 25, 2012

Thu Oct 25, 2012 www.theonion.com

God Distances Self From Christian Right 10.24.12 THE HEAVENS—Responding to inflammatory remarks made by Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock during a Tuesday night debate, Our Lord God The Almighty Father today sought to distance Himself both from Mourdock and from the entire right-wing, fu... News in Brief » Apple's Gag Division Unveils Sleekest Fake Dog Shit To Date American Voices » Billionaire Gives $100 Million To Central Park “Finally, a gift for the impoverished people of Manhattan.” opinion » Would A Man Who Doesn't Support Women Let His Wife Pick Out Any Oven She Wants For Her Birthday? by Mitt Romney, Republican Nominee For President Of The United States By Mitt Romney Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, I have a really good feeling about the numbers 4, 35, 14, 25, 9, and 40 in the lottery this week, and I just wanted to ask that none of your other readers play them. — Lars Erikson, Mobile, AL Most Popular » God Distances Self From Christian Right Billionaire Gives $100 Million To Central Park Trump Announces He's A Very Sad Man 'Mother Mary Was Essentially Raped,' Mourdock Says While Digging Self Into Deeper Hole Latest Study Finds Cancer Cells Now Cruelly Mocking Researchers Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High

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