The Onion Daily Dispatch - October 15, 2012

Mon Oct 15, 2012 www.theonion.com

New 'NFL Long Snap' Channel Promises To Air Every Single Long Snap On Sundays 10.14.12 NEW YORK—Proclaiming that football fans can now watch “every long snap, every Sunday,” the NFL officially unveiled its new Long Snap game-day television network Sunday. News in Brief » Dripping Wet 7-Year-Old Gets On Hotel Elevator American Voices » Planet Made Of Diamond Discovered “We’re so lame. All we have here is a bunch of dumb water and resources.” opinion » They Can Never Take Away My Memories by Jerry Sandusky By Jerry Sandusky Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Miss. B-7? — Colin Ware, Perry, NY Most Popular » Planet Made Of Diamond Discovered Eloquent Biden Brings Entire Audience To Tears In Debate Stunner Secretary Of Interior Decks Smart-Ass Buffalo Dripping Wet 7-Year-Old Gets On Hotel Elevator Fashion Senseless Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt

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