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Monday, September 17, 2012

The Onion Daily Dispatch - September 17, 2012

The Onion

Newborn Loses Faith In Humanity After Record 6 Days 09.17.12

SCHAUMBURG, IL—In a turn of events that has stunned the worldwide medical community, local infant Nathan Jameson, born just six days ago, has become the youngest person ever to permanently and irrevocably lose all faith in humanity. “This shat...

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Your Honor, This Is Going To Sound Silly, But How Am I Doing So Far?

by Marshall Braithwaite, Prosecutor

By Marshall Braithwaite, Prosecutor

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