The Onion Daily Dispatch - September 13, 2012

Thu Sep 13, 2012 www.theonion.com

New Roomba Blender Makes Smoothie Out Of Everything In Its Path 09.13.12 BEDFORD, MA—In an exciting extension of their product line, the creators of the Roomba-brand self-directed vacuum cleaner have introduced the Yumba, a new household blender capable of mixing a rich, frothy smoothie out of whatever ingredients it suc... News in Brief » Chicago Public Schools Celebrate Third Straight Day Without Any Student Violence American Voices » Katie Couric Talk Show Dominates Ratings “These numbers must be fake. There’s no way she beat all three of those juggernauts.” opinion » Your Honor, This Is Going To Sound Silly, But How Am I Doing So Far? by Marshall Braithwaite, Prosecutor By Marshall Braithwaite, Prosecutor Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, My eyesight is failing me. Can you start calling me and telling me what happened? I do not need to hear the Jumble puzzle. — Beatrice Pullman, Coral Gables, FL Most Popular »

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