The Onion Daily Dispatch - August 30, 2012

Thu Aug 30, 2012 www.theonion.com

World Wildlife Fund Quickly Backtracks After Announcing Panda Ears Are Delicious 08.30.12 GLAND, SWITZERLAND—During a press conference outside their Swiss headquarters Thursday, World Wildlife Fund officials backpedaled from a controversial press statement released by the organization last week, claiming that while panda ears are in fact... News in Brief » Brave Woman Enters Restaurant Without First Looking It Up Online American Voices » Rodent-Borne Virus Kills 2 At Yosemite “There you go, Teddy fucking Roosevelt and the national park system you just had to have. I hope you’re happy.” opinion » Here Are All Of My Opinions  by John Caldwell By John Caldwell Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, I found journalist Mark Summerfeld’s review of last Saturday’s fireworks show to be spot on. He was 100 percent right. They were very beautiful. — Carol Prushek Athens, GA Most Popular » John McCain Just Blew His Brains Out During RNC Speech Gay Marine Beaten To Bloody Pulp To Fire Up RNC Crowd World Wildlife Fund Quickly Backtracks After Announcing Panda Ears Are Delicious Things That Shouldn't Be Said In Modern Society To Be Said At Least 1,400 Times At RNC Brave Woman Enters Restaurant Without First Looking It Up Online Netflix Board Of Directors Meets To Decide If 'Michael' Is Stream Worthy

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