The Onion Daily Dispatch - August 28, 2012

Tue Aug 28, 2012 www.theonion.com

GOP Convention To Feature Strong Lineup Of Conservative Women Listeners 08.27.12 TAMPA, FL—On the eve of the Republican National Convention, GOP officials have announced that the three-day event will feature a solid, all-star lineup of the party’s most prominent female listeners. News in Brief » RNC Builds Levee Out Of Poor People To Protect Convention Site American Voices » NYPD Criticized For Shooting Amid Crowds “Gun, knife, dangerous suspect, innocent bystanders—at least the NYPD is egalitarian when it comes to using deadly force.” opinion » Here Are All Of My Opinions  by John Caldwell By John Caldwell Radio News » Lord Answers Bible-Camp Counselor's Prayer For Safe And Enjoyable Hike

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Your shortness of breath and wild fainting spells will be cured this week thanks to a series of well-placed commas. Most Popular » Things That Shouldn't Be Said In Modern Society To Be Said At Least 1,400 Times At RNC Here Are All Of My Opinions  Republican National Convention Day 1 Your Horoscopes – Week Of August 28, 2012 Pregnant Woman Relieved To Learn Her Rape Was Illegitimate Report: More Than 280 Yao Mings Killed By Chinese Poachers In 2012

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