The Onion Daily Dispatch - August 27, 2012

Mon Aug 27, 2012 www.theonion.com

Bunch Of Numbers From Where Daddy Works Means No Trip To Disney World 08.27.12 RED OAK, MI—Six-year-old Kevin Bligh confirmed Friday that the papers Daddy brings home from work with all the numbers on them mean there will be no trip to Disney World this year after all. News in Brief » School Janitor's Summer As Human Already A Distant Memory American Voices » Red Vines Recalled Due To High Lead Content “No problem. I’ll just have my kid break each one in half before eating them.” opinion » Haven’t We All Done Steroids, In A Way? by Lance Armstrong By Lance Armstrong Radio News » Abusive Obsessive-Compulsive Has To Punch Wife Exactly 20 Times

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Running away from your problems will fail this week, as will climbing out of your problems’ reach and playing dead in hopes that your problems go away. Most Popular » Bunch Of Numbers From Where Daddy Works Means No Trip To Disney World Lance Armstrong Lets Down Single Person Who Still Believed Him Science Guy Bill Nye Killed In Massive Vinegar/Baking-Soda Explosion The Week In Pictures Haven’t We All Done Steroids, In A Way? School Janitor's Summer As Human Already A Distant Memory

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