The Onion Daily Dispatch - August 09, 2012

Thu Aug 09, 2012 www.theonion.com

Weird, Area Woman Wasn't Harassed Today 08.09.12 ATLANTA—Returning home from work Wednesday evening, area woman Caitlin Levy suddenly realized that, quite unusually, she had not been harassed or propositioned for sex even once the entire day, the puzzled 28-year-old told reporters. News in Brief » Biden's eBay Feedback Rating Dips Below 35 Percent American Voices » Graphic Anti-Smoking Ads Effective “I don’t think it’s fair that the anti-smoking people can show all of the horrible consequences of smoking, but the tobacco companies can no longer show how cool it makes you look.” opinion » I'm Proud Of All My Songs, Even The Ones I Stole From People I Heard At Open-Mic Nights by Paul Simon By Paul Simon Radio News » God Worried Apocalypse May Not Live Up To Expectations

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Four will be killed, 12 injured, and nearly 50 molested this week after your unconscious escapes. Most Popular » Weird, Area Woman Wasn't Harassed Today Graphic Anti-Smoking Ads Effective Pet Eating Like Country Isn't In Goddamn Recession 'Hatecore' Music Used As Recruitment Tool Study: Pretending Everything's Okay Works Tucson Shooter Switches Plea To 'Guilty'

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