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Friday, June 1, 2012

Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever

June 1st, 2012Top Story

Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever

By Drew Magary

Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever If you've ever attended school at any level, you know how infuriating it can be when some dipshit administrator screws up your paperwork and sticks you in the wrong class. Or even worse, when they actively try to prevent you from switching out of that class into the class you wanted. Well, one brave college student isn't about to take that shit lying down. An anonymous reader sent in this voicemail from an aggrieved student—she apparently goes to a health-care vocational school—and it's a masterpiece of profane righteousness. I would like to hire this woman to leave voicemails for every fucked-up bureaucratic entity in this country: The IRS, Verizon, every insurance provider ever, etc. She has struck a vital blow for us all in the battle against Big Everything.

I strongly urge you to listen for yourself. (Note: All names have been bleeped out.) Otherwise, take in these highlights:

• "I don't like my money to be fucking played with."

• "I'm not playing with y'all motherfuckers up there and I'm very serious about that."

• "I'm not the type of person to be cussing like this, but when I'm paying for my school, and you fucking with my money and my goddamn school, and I know I passed the goddamn class, and you making me taking some bullshit for some motherfucker dumbshit cause your motherfucker damn substitute teacher fucked up my motherfucker attendance shit, you got me FUCKED UP."

• "I better have a new goddamn class to go to. Cause bitch, I passed this other goddamn class."

Seriously, it's almost musical in its brilliance. This woman is a hero.

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