The Onion Weekly Dispatch - June 13, 2012

Wed Jun 13, 2012 www.theonion.com

Romney Spends Most Of Factory Visit Yelling At Employees To Work Harder 06.13.12 NORTHFIELD, OH—Sources at the Gregson-Turner Paper Co. confirmed that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney spent the vast majority of his visit to the company's Ohio-based factory Tuesday yelling at employees to work harder. Romney, who sai... Peter Jackson Opens Up About His Personal Hobbit Friends In Beginnings Of Genius Marketing Campaign Or Full-On Mental Breakdown News in Brief » Few Years In Military Would Have Really Straightened Out Troubled Teen Killed On First Tour Of Afghanistan Herculean Effort, Astronomical Expense Lead To Photo Of Whole Family At Disney World Man On Verge Of Self-Realization Instead Turns To God American Voices » First Lady Joins Pinterest "I guess that’s why she hasn’t updated her ‘Fuck Yeah, Swiss Chard’ Tumblr account in a while." Americans' Wealth Down 40% video » Reporter Goes Undercover In Chinatown By Wearing Silk Robe Investigative reporter Gavin Fisher investigates the world of Chinese counterfeit goods by donning a long robe and a black wig. opinion » I Had The Idea For YouTube Back In 2010 by Jack McCullagh By Jack McCullagh Radio News » New Movie From Pixar Will Totally Fuck With Kids' Minds

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 It's not the hammer of life that's going to beat you down this week, but the ladle of Kathy Clodmeyer, who is frankly sick of you asking for more gravy. Most Popular » Romney Spends Most Of Factory Visit Yelling At Employees To Work Harder First Lady Joins Pinterest Americans' Wealth Down 40% Man On Verge Of Self-Realization Instead Turns To God Goldman Sachs Hires Single Morally Decent Human Being To Work In Separate, Enclosed Cubicle A-Rod Dead At 33

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