The Onion Daily Dispatch - June 18, 2012

Mon Jun 18, 2012 www.theonion.com

Americans Enjoying 3 Months Of Vegging Out Before Responsibilities Of Fall Programming Resume 06.18.12 WASHINGTON—Saying they just need to relax after a "grueling" nine months of watching television, Americans across the nation are reportedly using the summer to recuperate before they take on the demanding responsibility of 2012's... News in Brief » U.S. Improves Infrastructure With Transnational Power Strip American Voices » 'Dallas' Update Draws 7 Million Viewers “Oh, I bet they propped Linda Gray up in the background wearing something just ravishing, didn’t they?” opinion » I Had The Idea For YouTube Back In 2010 by Jack McCullagh By Jack McCullagh Radio News » Catholic Nutritionists Warn Of Transubstantiating Fats

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, You know what music lacks today? A blind guy who can really play the shit out of a piano. — Fred Joseph, New Orleans, LA Most Popular » Americans Enjoying 3 Months Of Vegging Out Before Responsibilities Of Fall Programming Resume 'Dallas' Update Draws 7 Million Viewers Capricious God Violently Shakes Ant Farm Day After Bestowing Orange Slices Upon Colony The Week In Pictures Middle-Aged Woman Angrily Demanding Price Check On Rice Pudding Was Once Carefree Youth, Onlookers Speculate Romney Spends Most Of Factory Visit Yelling At Employees To Work Harder

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