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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Onion Daily Dispatch - June 05, 2012

The Onion

Diamond Jubilee Marred By Drunken Queen Elizabeth II Encouraging Guests To Fuck 06.05.12

News in Brief »

First Disk Of Rosetta Stone Hungarian Just Urges Listeners To Rethink This Whole Thing

American Voices »

Earhart Died On Pacific Island

"As long as it's not too late to amend the postage stamps to incorporate this information."

opinion »

My Great-Grandfather Started This Business With One Simple Mission That We Abandoned Decades Ago

by Jeff Mueller, CEO, DKM Group

By Jeff Mueller, CEO, DKM Group

Radio News »

Local Man Gets Stabbing Right On 47th Try

featured section: »

Horoscope »

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

You will receive a mention in an exhaustive New Yorker piece titled "6 Billion To Watch Under 100."

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