The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 30, 2012

Wed May 30, 2012 www.theonion.com

Shrieking Vilsack Wakes From Nightmare About Being Buried Alive By Giant Ear Of Corn 05.30.12 WASHINGTON—A shrieking, sweat-soaked Tom Vilsack reportedly woke in a panic Tuesday night after the U.S. News in Brief » Area Man Winded After Particularly Lengthy Wendy's Order American Voices » Lugar Will Not Campaign For Republican Nominee "What's he trying to prove? That Republicans can have dignity and character? Ship's sailed, buddy!" opinion » Hey, Everybody! This Cool New Tide Detergent Video Is Blowing Up All Over The Internet! by Fred Hammond , Director Of Digital Video And Social Media Ad Integration, Tide Detergent Hey, everybody, have you seen this awesome new web video from Tide detergent? I just checked it out online and, man, it is easily one of the coolest digital videos I've ever seen. Radio News » Local Man Gets Stabbing Right On 47th Try

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You'll wake up in strangers' beds five times this week, which should be all the proof you need that you should meet more people. Most Popular » Shrieking Vilsack Wakes From Nightmare About Being Buried Alive By Giant Ear Of Corn Big 12 Agrees To Annual Bowl Loss Against SEC Hey, Everybody! This Cool New Tide Detergent Video Is Blowing Up All Over The Internet! U.S. Techno-Industrial Base Eroding Due To Foreign Competition Obama Presides Over Secret 'Kill List' Lugar Will Not Campaign For Republican Nominee

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