The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 29, 2012

Tue May 29, 2012 www.theonion.com

Biden To Honor Fallen Soldiers By Jumping Motorcycle Over Vietnam Memorial 05.25.12 WASHINGTON—In an effort to honor fallen American soldiers this Memorial Day with a fittingly "badass" tribute, Vice President Joe Biden has announced plans to jump a motorcycle over the entire length of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. Biden... News in Brief » Crayola CEO Presents Jarringly Ambitious 5-Year Plan At Annual Shareholders Meeting American Voices » Solar Plane Makes First Intercontinental Flight “That seems pretty risky. What if Ra becomes displeased and blots out the sun?” opinion » Come On! There Has To Be One Person In This Goddamn School Who's Been Molested by Ted Bartlett, Guidance Counselor By Ted Bartlett, Guidance Counselor Radio News » Local Man Gets Stabbing Right On 47th Try

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 No one can argue effectively without the correct set of tools, so make sure you have a hammer in each hand. Most Popular » Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids Biden To Honor Fallen Soldiers By Jumping Motorcycle Over Vietnam Memorial NRA Sets 1,000 Killed In School Shooting As Amount It Would Take For Them To Reconsider Much Of Anything Solar Plane Makes First Intercontinental Flight Crayola CEO Presents Jarringly Ambitious 5-Year Plan At Annual Shareholders Meeting WAUSAU, WI—Algebra teacher Cherie Dunham, 26, was going to pull a 16-year-old student out of class for sex but, given all the fuss in the news lately, thought better of it.

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