The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 28, 2012

Mon May 28, 2012 www.theonion.com

NRA Sets 1,000 Killed In School Shooting As Amount It Would Take For Them To Reconsider Much Of Anything 05.25.12 FAIRFAX, VA—National Rifle Association Executive Vice President and CEO Wayne LaPierre said Monday that somewhere around 1,000 kids would have to die in a school shooting in order for the organization to reconsider their longstanding opposition to g... News in Brief » Crayola CEO Presents Jarringly Ambitious 5-Year Plan At Annual Shareholders Meeting American Voices » Solar Plane Makes First Intercontinental Flight “That seems pretty risky. What if Ra becomes displeased and blots out the sun?” opinion » Come On! There Has To Be One Person In This Goddamn School Who's Been Molested by Ted Bartlett, Guidance Counselor By Ted Bartlett, Guidance Counselor Radio News » Local Man Gets Stabbing Right On 47th Try

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 No one can argue effectively without the correct set of tools, so make sure you have a hammer in each hand. Most Popular » NRA Sets 1,000 Killed In School Shooting As Amount It Would Take For Them To Reconsider Much Of Anything The Week In Pictures Man At Gym Just Watching TV U.S. Inspires World With Attempt At Democratic Election Why Women's Professional Soccer Failed in the U.S. Biden To Honor Fallen Soldiers By Jumping Motorcycle Over Vietnam Memorial

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