The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 16, 2012

Wed May 16, 2012 www.theonion.com

Tens Of Thousands Dead In Ongoing Africa 05.16.12 JUBA, SOUTH SUDAN—According to alarming reports from international relief agencies operating in Swaziland, Chad, the Democratic Republic of Congo, and rebel-held sections of Mali, more than 500,000 people have died so far this month from the ongoing... News in Brief » Hershey's Announces It's All Out Of Candy American Voices » Stranded Fisherman Sues Cruise Line “Oh, come on, Princess Cruise Lines? Even if you're cast adrift with no food or water, you shouldn't settle for anything less than Royal Caribbean.” opinion » I Was One Of Those Kids Who Always Took Cats Apart To See How They Worked by Terrance Hanley By Terrance Hanley Radio News » County Fair Judges Blown Away By Local Heifer

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