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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Cheat Sheet - Quit Now, Jamie Dimon!

The Cheat Sheet

Today: François Hollande Sworn in as French President, At Least 21 Killed in Syria , Alzheimer Drug Trial Gives Hope
Cheat Sheet: Afternoon

May 15, 2012
FOUL PLAY

J.P. Morgan board members backed CEO Jamie Dimon Tuesday even as the Justice Department opened a criminal investigation into the events that led to a $2 billion loss at the investment bank. The Daily Beast’s Michael Tomasky says Dimon has admitted his negligence, but he should quit now if he wants anyone to believe Wall Street has changed its ways.

FRANCE

A bad omen, or just bad weather? Hours after he was sworn in as France's new president, François Hollande's plane was struck by lightning en route to Germany to discuss the Greek crisis with German Chancellor Angela Merkel. The first Socialist to hold the office in 17 years battled stormy weather during his inauguration ceremony, after he tried to ensure that it would be as low-key as possible, with neither his children nor those of his partner, Valérie Trierweiler, in attendance. Hollande said he will try to “find a compromise” between Germany’s focus on austerity and Greek unrest.

Carnage

At least 21 people were killed in the town of Khan Sheikhoun when Syrian security forces opened fire Tuesday during a funeral procession. A rebel spokesman claimed that more than 50 people died in the attack, which took place during a visit of U.N. monitors to the town. None of the monitors were wounded, but the vehicles in which they were traveling were damaged. A United Nations spokesperson said the convoy was hit by an improvised explosive device, and the monitors were forced to use vehicles to flee.

CURE?

For decades, Alzheimer’s has been a disease without a cure. But now, researchers at the National Institutes of Health may have found a way to prevent the often slow and difficult decline the illness inflicts on people’s lives. People who are genetically predisposed to Alzheimer’s but who don’t have any symptoms will be given Crenezumab, a medication that breaks up plaque that settles on the brain, to see if it keeps dementia from developing. The $100 million study will run for five years, but could see results in as little as two years.

FAIL

Greece will hold a new election at some point in the near future, a spokesperson for President Karolos Papoulias said Tuesday—just nine days after an inconclusive vote. Politicians have failed to form a government, and the uncertainty only prolongs the political crisis that could push the country closer to bankruptcy. Although Papoulias did not give a date for the election, rules dictate it will most likely happen sometime in mid-June. A caretaker government will be formed on Wednesday, a spokesman said. Polls show that the leftist Syriza, which rejects the bailout and came in second in the last election, holds the lead.


AFTERMATH
J.P. Morgan Board Backs Dimon
While feds announce investigation into company.
J’ACCUSE!
DSK Countersues Diallo for $1M
Calls maid’s accusation “malicious and false.”
Same-Sex Marriage
Gay Romney Donor Jumps Ship
Asks for his money back.
Big Fan
Jay-Z Backs Obama on Gay Marriage
Says “it's the right thing to do.”
NEVER MIND
Travolta Accuser Dismisses Case
Masseur alleged sexual assault.
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