The Onion Daily Dispatch - April 03, 2012

Tue Apr 03, 2012 www.theonion.com

Report: Majority Of Instances Of People Getting Lives Back On Track Occur Immediately After Visit To Buffalo Wild Wings 04.01.12 SEATTLE—According to a University of Washington report published Friday, more than two-thirds of major lifestyle reassessments take place after exiting a Buffalo Wild Wings franchise. News in Brief » Apartment Returns To Pre-Houseguest Level Of Tension American Voices » Major Obama Donor Accused Of Fraud "Can this donor get around the charge by declaring herself a corporation? Then I think she'd be in the clear." opinion » I'd Be Happy To Help With Any Herding… by A Border Collie By A Border Collie Radio News » U.S. Mint Gears Up To Release Commemorative Penny For Every County

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 This is a good time to make big moves at work, as you'll show up Monday to find all the furniture's gone and everyone has relocated to a new office somewhere outside Gary, IN. Most Popular » The Israeli Conflict Is Far Too Nuanced And Complex To Sum Up In One Op-Ed/Not If You Hate Jews! Major Obama Donor Accused Of Fraud Report: Majority Of Instances Of People Getting Lives Back On Track Occur Immediately After Visit To Buffalo Wild Wings Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself Bin Laden Relatives Sentenced Man With Nice Eyes Blown

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